Insecurities and Paralyzing Self-Doubt.

[Kaylie♥++]

AHHHHH AMAZINGGG!MOREEE?!

[smile♥]

"Bye guys," I said sadly as I heard them calling my flight. "I'll call you when I land."

Tallie and Jerome both nodded as they stood side-by-side in front of me. "Miss you." Tallie said sadly as tears started to form in her eyes.

I nodded as I moved closer and wrapped my arms around the two of them. "Miss you two... too." I giggled slightly. "Oh, by the way, if you see Ted, tell him I said bye."

Tallie nodded. "I don't know why he's not here. He must've got stuck in traffic or went to the wrong airport or something."

"Like on 'Friends' when Ross tries to make Rachel get off the plane and he goes to the wrong airport..." I giggled, only wishing that something that romantic would happen.

"Something's wrong with the left phalange!" Jerome said in a strange voice and we all started laughing as the line moved and it was now my turn to hand the woman my ticket.

"Sorry guys! I have to go. Love you guys! Bye!" I waved as I re-situated the sunglasses on top of my head and walked down the hallway.

-Tallie + Jerome-

"It's too bad Ted's not here." Jerome said as he and Tallie stood there watching the plane take off.

"Hey guys." Teddy was out of breath from running through the whole airport until he found the right gate. "Did I miss it?"

Tallie turned around and wiped the tears from the corners of her yes and nodded. "Yeah. She said to tell you bye."

He nodded and gave them a sad look as he turned around and pulled out his cell phone.

"What are you doing?" Tallie asked.

"He's calling her, duh!" Jerome said matter-of-factly and she elbowed him in the ribs.

"Bailey?! Bailey... answer your phone." He was frustrated, but he redialed again, only to get her voice mail. "Bai... Bailey, please answer!"

After four more tries, Tallie convinced him to give it up and join them for lunch.

----------

After landing in Denver, Spencer met me at the gate like he had missed me. I highly doubted he had missed me. He could have any girl in our town he ever wanted... And I'm sure he got them too.

"Hey you," He said after greeting me with a huge kiss. I couldn't help but feel nothing anymore.

"Hey," I said nervously. I didn't really want to be here, not alone.

We retrieved my bags and then headed to his truck and he took me to my Grandmother's house, where I would be staying until I found an apartment.

"You know you could always live with me." He reminded me again.

I nodded. "I know... But I just... Like this house." I wasn't lying. I really did like her house. It was a log cabin-style home, and it was always the best place to spend Christmas.

He nodded as he turned into the driveway. "I'll let you get settled in and used to the jet lag. I'll call you tomorrow, ok?"

I nodded. "Bye."

Why was I here again?

----------

tallieXcali: hey hey!
soNOTjealous: hi
tallieXcali: so how is it?
soNOTjealous: ok. not as hot... the weather's a little different and i'm still adjusting to the time difference... but other than that...
tallieXcali: i mean with spence
soNOTjealous: oh. i haven't seen him since i landed actually. he's in school... summer classes, that whole deal
talliexcali: yeah right
soNOTjealous: you don't believe him?
tallieXcali: honestly, no
soNOTjealous: you all think that i'm stupid for coming out here?
tallieXcali: honestly? yes
soNOTjealous has signed off.

[Kourtni]

ahhhhh....loved it. drama drama drama!
cannot wait for the next update.

[[[ariane]]]

rieoghetrhj.
awesome.
i think you should be a writer.
because if this was a book i would soo buy it.
actually if any of your fanfics were books i think any teenage girl would buy them.

[Kaylie♥++]

I LOVE THE AIM CONVO! SOOO CUTE! MOREE

[smile♥]

Could someone remind me why I moved out here for a guy? Oh wait! I totally remember! It's because I'm a lame caution freak who is afraid to share her feelings for fear of being rejected who doesn't respond well to change... So why, again, did I move out here? Was it because Spencer is the only guy I've ever had a serious relationship with? Because if so, that was totally stupid of me.

"Hey!" Spencer said as he stood in the doorway of my bedroom. "So do you want to get some lunch?"

"It's raining outside," I said. The weather had been sort of bad lately. One day it would rain, the next day it would be windy and cloudy and then the next day it would rain again. It was a wonder we hadn't had a flood yet. Not that it would bother Gran's house since it sat on a hill.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked.

"I could make some grilled cheese sandwiches and we could watch some TV?" I suggested, to which he agreed. I hadn't really been out in public since I moved here unless I had to run to the store for something. I missed my own car. "You go ahead and find something to watch. I'll get started."

He gave me a quick kiss before sitting down in the living room and turning on the TV.

I wondered to myself about everyone back home. Since the night I signed off on Tallie, no one had called me or e-mailed me. I had a feeling they all hated me for just leaving them, but I secretly hoped they would either drive my Durango out here or kidnap me and take me back. I was crossing my fingers for the latter option.

Spencer's phone started to ring, and since I was near it, I reached to answer it for him. I felt like such a secretary. "Hello?" No one answered. "Hello?"

"Um... I think I have the wrong number," A girl's voice said nervously.

"Well who are you looking for?"

"Spencer?" She said, again more nervous than before.

"Oh. He's here. This is his girlfriend. I'll get him for you." I said with just a hint of anger in my voice as I walked to the living room. "There's a girl on the phone for you." I let the phone fall onto his stomach and made my way back to the kitchen. I couldn't just let the sandwiches burn.

----------

"Who was on the phone?" I asked curiously as I sat down next to him with two paper plates holding our food.

"Kimmy. She's in my Government class." He said quickly. "She needed help with a study guide question."

"Should you be studying then?"

He shook his head. "Nah. This stuff is pretty easy to me."

I shrugged and took a bite of my sandwich. The rest of the afternoon was pretty quiet except for the television and Gran's dog when he would see a squirrel outside the window.

"I'm going to get going," He said after a show ended. He stood up and gave me a hug. "I'll see you later."

I nodded. "Yeah."

I didn't know what to say to him anymore. I needed to end this, but I didn't know how to do it. I felt bad about doing it over the phone, but I wouldn't know what to say if I did it in person either.

I decided to go out after all. There was club in town that Delia's older sister, Willa, worked at. I'd been there once since I'd came to town and she promised me free alcohol if I ever wanted it. Not that I actually planned on drinking or anything.

"Hey Willa," I smiled at her as I sat on a stool at the bar.

"Coke?" She asked.

"Make it a Cherry Coke," I said.

"Oh! You're getting a little bold there!" She laughed and I nodded.

"Better stop me now before I get real crazy."

"So where's the guy?" She asked curiously.

I shrugged. "No clue. I wasn't exactly wanting him to be with me anyway."

"Oh.."

"How should I end it?" I asked curiously. "I mean, I feel totally awful since I moved all the way out here and paid for a plane ticket and everything... And I'm just... Not into him anymore."

"Just tell him the truth. I'm sure that he'd be ok with it." She told me. "I mean, we've known each other since we were four."

I nodded as a cute guy walked in that resembled Drake Bell. "Whoa. Who is that?"

"That is Riles. He goes by that instead of Riley. He's a real risk taker too, see watch this," She giggled as he sat on the stool next to mine.

"Hey Riles. You want a Coke, right?"

"Cherry." He said and Willa and I both started laughing. "What?"

I shook my head. "It seems that we're both on the edge of being extreme risk takers with our Cherry Cokes and she finds it amusing."

He nodded. "What's your name? I don't think I've seen you here before."

"Bailey."

"I'm Riley... Well, Riles. It just sounds more... Manly." He said and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So you come here often?"

"That I do, mostly because I'm very single and have absolutely nothing to do with my free time but pet my cat, who is rather obese and could probably pin me to the ground if we were to fight." Wow, why don't you tell me your life story?

I nodded. "I live with my Gran in her log cabin. I love that house."

"Oh that's your house?" He asked. "I live down the street from it in that little blue house, ya know? I saw that house and I thought it was awesome."

I nodded. "I've always wanted to have it as my own house one day."

He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. He was very easy to talk to. "So you don't have any plans do you?" He asked. "Because I was thinking maybe we could get some dinner?"

Willa let out a cough that sounded an awful lot like 'Spencer' and I eyed her before replying. "I can't tonight. It's not a good night for me. I've actually been job hunting and I'm tired." I hadn't completely lied. I was tired and I'd been looking through the paper to find any jobs.

"Hey did you find anything?" Willa asked me curiously. "Because we're totally looking for a waitress here."

"Oh. I didn't find anything other than babysitting and lawn repair." I laughed.

"So you'll take it?" She asked excitedly.

"Sure."

She shoved her hand in my direction and I shook it. "Welcome to the Taylor's Bar & Music. You start tomorrow. Be here at three so I can give you some training."

I nodded. "So my age doesn't matter?"

She shook her head. "You can serve alchohol as long as you're eighteen."

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow then." I said as I paid for my drink and then turned to Riles. "And I'm guessing I will see you tomorrow night as well?"

He nodded. "You sure will."

"Bye then." I waved at them and made my way back out to the parking lot and climbed into Gran's Impala and headed home.

----------

"Whoa, bar fight!" I heard Riles say and I turned to watch two drunk idiots fight with each other.

It was my second week on the job, and I had to say that I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

"HANK!" I called for our bouncer to escort the two drunk guys out.

Just as they were walking out, I noticed Spencer walk in with someone attached to his arm. I assumed she was the girl that called the other day. He knew I worked here, so why was he bring her in like this? Unless he was cheating on me. That would be my luck.

They sat down at a table to watch the local band that was playing so I walked over to them with my pen and pad of paper. "Can I get you two anything?" I asked sweetly as I stared him down, wishing that my eyes had super powers.

"Bailey..." He said slowly and I shook my head.

"Can I get you anything?"

He didn't say anything, he just simply shook his head and I walked off to join Willa and Riles at the bar.

"Was that?" Willa asked and I nodded.

"Sure is."

"What are you going to do?" She asked.

"What am I not going to do when I get him alone?" I asked angrily as I refilled Riles' glass. "By the way, that guy over there now has a one way ticket to being my ex. Just so you're not lost in the conversation."

He nodded and raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything as I checked on the rest of my customers.

----------

"How long has this been going on?" I asked him as he sat on my couch. He was silent. "I take it a while. Well guess what? It's over now. I want you out of my house."

"Bailey, please don't..." He begged and I shook my head.

"Bye." I couldn't believe how easy that was. I couldn't believe I wasn't breaking down. Maybe I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. Maybe I could take the initiative and speak up for myself.

----------

soNOTjealous: hello?
tallieXcali: hey. listen, i'm sorry for the last conversation
soNOTjealous: no, it's cool. i understand. i have job now.
tallieXcali: cool, where?
soNOTjealous: this bar called taylor's
tallieXcali: awesome. so how are you and spencer?
soNOTjealous: non-existant
tallieXcali: so you're going to move back?
soNOTjealous: i just can't leave. i have a job, college... OMG you should totally visit!
tallieXcali: yeah. that'd be cool, i miss you too much!
soNOTjealous: maybe i can sneak you a stawberry daquiri or two at the bar *winkwink*
tallieXcali: well... that's not such a good idea.
soNOTjealous: ...?
tallieXcali: i'm pregnant
soNOTjealous: oh wow! that's exciting!
tallieXcali: yea, it is. hey, i need to get off here, i um.. i'll call you and figure out a good time to visit. maybe i can get ted and romie to come
soNOTjealous: ok cool cool
tallieXcali: ok. love ya. bye
soNOTjealous: love ya! bye bye

Wow. So many things had changed since I left. I hoped that they would all be able to come, especially Teddy. I wanted him to be there more than anyone else.

[smile♥]

aisforamanda said:

ALDFJSL;KSJFLKDJFS

I registered just now JUST so I could tell you how much I loooove this story! This is seriously one of the most well written fan fictions I've ever read. EVER. I'm jealous of you talent.

Update soon, please!

Aww that's awesome!
I'm glad you like it!

[Kourtni]

OMFG, if that update wasn't filled with drama then I don't know what it was! Haha. That had to have been my favorite chapter so far Jamie. It's amazing. Keep up the great work. Cannot wait to see what happens next!

[smile♥]

Thanks!!

[Kourtni]

jam said:

Thanks!!

You're welcome.

[[[ariane]]]

oh my goshhhh.
thats all i can say.
more soon please?

[alyssa duhhh]

holy crap!
she's pregnant!

im so glad she ended it with spencer.
that little thingy.
i'm kind of blahh about riles. or whatever.
he doesn't sound like good news.

[live.love.laugh]

wow amazing! more puh lease!

[Kourtni]

gorgeousxsuicide said:

i'm kind of blahh about riles. or whatever.
he doesn't sound like good news.

yeah, he seems a little suspicious. idk.
hopefully he won't be that bad. lol

[Carie]

yes! she ended it with Spencer!!!1
now she and Teddy can be together??? hopefully?

More!!!!!!!