Insecurities and Paralyzing Self-Doubt.

[smile♥]

"Bai," I heard someone say from behind me. "Come on, let's go."

I shook my head. I didn't want to leave yet. I had to find something. I didn't know what that something was, I just knew I wanted it.

"Bailey, wake up!" I heard my sister yell at me. "I have to take your lame self to school."

"Shut up, Brooke, not everyone can get up at the crack of dawn like you and act like they've just had twenty cups of coffee." I shot back as I sat up and looked around my room. I looked around it every morning. I was afraid something would be there. I didn't know what, and that was exactly what I was scared of.

"Just hurry up." I heard her say and I walked to my closet, where I flipped on the light before opening the door, another compulsion of mine.

Brooke was perfect, or at least in everyone else's eyes. She had been a cheerleader who dated the first string quaterback when we lived in Colorado. Now she was engaged to him. Personally, I thought Matt was too good for her, but no one saw her like I did.

"Bailey Rae, if you don't get your butt down here so Brooke can take you to school, you're going to be grounded." My Mom was so country. But I couldn't say I hated it. It made me feel safe.

"Where's Goober?" My Mom asked as she looked behind me as I came down the hallway.

"Under my bed. Not all of us have to get up at six in the morning." I told her as I found a banana.

"Bailey, don't get smart with me." She warned me. "Did you get your uniform and put it in your bag?"

"Yes." I hated cheerleading, but she made me do it. I was probably the only one on the squad who wore polka dotted vans... except for Tallie.

"What time does the game start?"

"Seven." I told her as Brooke shoved me out the door.

----------

"H-hey Bailey," I heard Tallie say from behind me. "I-I.. you did a good job at the game last week.. So.. you think maybe.."

"Ok. Continue the teasing." I joked and she laughed as she opened her locker.

"He's got it bad for you, you know." My best friend told me. "And once you get past the stuttering nervousness... He's actually a sweet guy."

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I'm going to say now, right?"

"What? The same thing you always say?" She asked. "When you find a guy he'll be smart, confident, and good looking?"

"Well, news flash! Teddy is smart, confident, and good looking.."

"Teddy is also your brother's best friend. Don't you think your opinion is kind of biased?" I laughed as we walked to class together.

"Maybe just a little. Cute shirt by the way! I love it with your shoes." I smiled as I looked at my red shirt and black and white polka dotted vans.

"Thanks." I smiled as we walked into English.

----------

"Arg! I'm a Buc cheerleader," I joked with Tallie as we changed into our uniforms later that day. "I hate cheerleading."

"Me too. Hey, you ever think our Mom is the same person?!" She asked suddenly and I laughed at her.

"No seriously! She wants you to be like your sister, and my Mom wants me to be just like her, and since she had me when she was, like, fifteen, she practically is my sister!"

"She wants you to be exactly like her?" I laughed.

"Minus the baby."

"Ok, sure. Let's say that they are." I laughed.

"I want some of that!" She laughed as we walked out of the locker room and her crush, Taylor McCallister walked right in front of us. "Man, I wish we cheered for soccer."

I rolled my eyes and I made sure my shoes were tied before we put our bags in my Durango, which Brooke had been kind enough to drop off for me.

"Bai Rae and Tallie Cali," I wasn't sure why Jerome called us that, but he did. Tallie wasn't even from California. At least the 'Rae' was actually my middle name.

"You know that makes no sense, 'Romie." I laughed at my own joke that no one understood but me. "You know, like homie, but since his name is Jerome, I take the R.. yeah I'm done.. now." I sighed as I twisted my hair around my finger.

"Anyway, Tallie," he smiled at her. He was actually quite cute for an asian. "I was wondering if you'd like to go to the movies tomorrow night."

"Sure." She smiled. "Call me after the game and we'll talk about it, k?" She smiled at him and I wondered how she could get all these guys to simply fall at her feet, while I - her best friend - sat on the sidelines and watched.

"Bailey!" Tallie said as she bumped her hip into mine, breaking me out of my daze. "I'm hungry here. Can we get some food?"

I laughed. "Oh yeah. Sure..." I smiled as we headed to my car.

I wanted to be my best friend. She was gorgeous, confident, flirty... did I mention gorgeous? I on the other hand, am a simple, red-headed, caution freak that can't go over the speed limit without almost having a panic attack, much less flirt with a guy who may or may not be interested in me.

Why was I the quiet one that no guy paid attention to?

"What do you mean?" Tallie asked and I looked at her.

"What?"

"You just said 'Why am I the one that no guy ever pays attention to'." She informed me.

Crap. I was thinking out loud again. "Seriously, guys pay attention to you. Hello? Remember Teddy?"

I rolled my eyes. "Besides Teddy. He's paid attention to me since the ninth grade."

"Well, it's better than not ever paying attention at all." She told me.

She did have a point.

[Kaylie♥++]

AWWWW AMAZINGGGG!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS FIC! AWWW! moree! I love it so far!

[Kourtni]

It's about time you got a new fic up...just kidding! I absolutely loved this chapter. You are (of course) an amazing writer!

[[[ariane]]]

rewoivbfobmgpfkovfd.
amazinggggg.
im excited for this fan fic.
great chapter.

[Carie]

i love it already!

more?!

[Cristina]

awesome.
you are definitely an amazing writer!
can't wait for more!

[smile♥]

We had just finished the last cheerleading competition for this year, and I promised myself I wouldn't put myself through another year of this, no matter what my Mom said.

So what if it was supposed to help me with my lack of social skills, or build confidence. Who says you need those things, anyway?

"You're not quitting cheerleading!" My Mom argued with me on the ride home that night. "It'll get you good scholarships."

"So?" I asked. "I want to be a Radiologic Technoligist, not a cheerleading coach."

"Just drop it, Bailey. You're not quitting." She glared at me through the rear view mirror and I sunk down in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest.

"If her eyes were lasers, you'd have holes in your head," Tallie laughed at me. "Ok. Subject change - Wasn't it cute how Teddy came to cheer you on?"

"Sure if you like the stalker type," I rolled my eyes. I hadn't been in a good mood all day. Probably because I had had to wake up at four in the morning just to take a shower.

"Bailey, come on." She said tiredly. "I am so sick of this. He likes you. Give him a freakin' chance. What makes you say you won't like him too?"

"He used to collect batman figurines." I glared at her.

"Most boys did when they were young."

"He still has them in a box in his closet." I said plainly.

"Well, the batmobile is a pretty sweet ride, don't you think?" She laughed. "Just think! You'll never have to call 'Pimp My Ride'."

I rolled my eyes and laughed at her as my phone began to ring. "Hello?"

"Bailey?" I glared at Tallie and she began to giggle.

"Yeah. Who is this?" I pretended like I didn't know.

"I-its Ted. Did Tallie not tell you she gave me your number?"

I looked at her. "No she sure didn't."

"Oh. Well, I was just going to tell you that you did a good job today."

"Thanks, Teddy."

"No problem." He was quiet for a while.

"Teddy?"

"Yeah.. Um. I was just wondering, if maybe you'd like to hang out or something... tomorrow."

Tallie grabbed the phone out of my hands and began talking to him before I could even answer. "Hey Ted, it's Tallie. I noticed Bailey wasn't saying much. I'm sorry about her attitude, she's not in a good mood because her Mom won't let her quit cheerleading." She paused for a while and then laughed. "Oh, well, of course. She'll be there. Ok. Bye Ted."

"What did you just do?" I asked.

"I got you a date for tomorrow night. At Teddy's house."

"How do you know I wasn't going to say yes?" I asked. She thought she knew me so well.

"Because, I know you, Bai. You're stubborn. Now, tomorrow night..." She began telling me what I was supposed to be doing with him tomorrow, but I tuned her out.

She had made me even more mad than I had already been. I hated when people assumed that I was just some sort of predictable person that would always do exactly what everyone thought they would do. I'll show her... And Brooke, and my Mom.

I am not predictable. Am I?

[Durr Its Lizzz]

Ahhh!!!
this is sooooo good
moreee pleaseee [=

[Kourtni]

Omfg Jamie, you're amazing. I LOVEDDDDDDDDDD that update. It was really cute. Keep up the amazing work. Cannot wait to read more.

[Cristina]

sooooo good!
can't wait to see what happens on the date.

[alyssa duhhh]

Ouuuu I love it.
you need to post more prontooo

[Kaylie♥++]

moremoremoreeee!

LOL Teddy the stalkerr, sweetttt.

[[[ariane]]]

gohgsdofnhfds.
amazinggggg.
more soon? pleaseee?

[smile♥]

"Teddy, can we, like, talk about this date?" I asked curiously as I talked to him on the phone.

"Oh.. um. I figured you'd call back and cancel. It's ok, I completely understand. I mean - you shouldn't have to come if your friend forced you into it because then its, like, making you do something you don't want to do and-"

"Ted!" I laughed and I heard him let out a breathy chuckle. "I was just wanting to see if since you maybe wanted to go mini-golfing or something because I have these coupons and they expire in, like, two weeks... so yeah." I am such a loser.

"Oh. Yeah. That's sounds great." I heard him smile through the phone. "I wasn't too comfortable with you coming over here anyway. It's not really a good first date. I mean, I'm not saying we have to have a second one I'm just-"

"Ted!" I laughed and I heard him sigh again. "I know what you mean."

"Ok. I'll see you later then."

"Bye." I laughed and rolled my eyes as I walked to my closet to find something to wear.

----------

So far, Tallie had called me about five times to make sure I hadn't secretly called Teddy and cancelled on him - and to see what I was wearing. I had resorted to just blocking her calls. How was I supposed to drive and talk at the same time? I'd end up crashing with my kind of coordination.

I agreed to drive because, honestly, I didn't trust many people's driving skills but my own. If I was going to die in a car crash, it was going to be my own fault. No offense to Teddy or anything.

I pulled into the driveway that led up to a big white house and noticed he had been pacing in front of the door. I knew how he felt. I didn't want anyone to make a deal about me going on a date either. At least, that's what I figured he was pacing for... Unless he was nervous, and then I would just have to laugh. Ok, I'm rambling again.

"Hi," He smiled as he climbed into the passenger seat and I began backing out of the driveway. "What are we listening to?"

"Damien Rice."

"Oh, he's good." He agreed. "And this song is very good."

I nodded as we sat in a comfortable silence as we listened to 'The Blower's Daughter'. I couldn't help but sing along, I just loved the way Damien's voice sounded when he sang "I can't keep my eyes off of you."

"You have a nice voice," Teddy complimented and I felt my cheeks get warm. I didn't realize I was singing that loud.

"Thanks."

"What? You don't think so?" He asked.

"What?"

"You sort of shook your head when you said 'Thanks'." He informed me.

"I just... I don't know." I rolled my eyes at myself. "I'm just always compared to my sister."

He nodded. "Oh ok. Well you do have a nice voice."

I nodded. "Thanks." I smiled to myself as I pulled into Frank's Mini-Golf and Go-Cart. I was sure Teddy had never been here.

"I have seriously never heard of this place." Teddy said as we got out of the car.

I nodded. "Don't tell anybody, but my sister had a job here when we first moved here. It was the only place that would hire her."

"So you know Frank?" Teddy laughed.

"Well, Frank is actually Francine. She thought Frank sounded a lot better than Francine on a sign." Teddy laughed and nodded in agreement. "She's actually my aunt. I call her aunt Frankie."

"So I get to meet some family tonight?"

I laughed. "I guess you could call it that." I said as I led him to Frankie's office, where she was watching the security cameras to make sure the teenage boys at the Laser Tag weren't doing anything illegal. "Hey Aunt Frankie."

"Bailey!" She said excitedly as she stood up and hugged me. "How is my favorite neice?"

I laughed. She always called me that. She said I was the only normal one. "I'm good. This is Teddy."

"Nice looking guy." She winked at me.

"Hi." He was blushing.

"We were just wanting to play a little golf. Maybe race the go-carts?" I suggested and she nodded as she led me to the register and handed us each a ball and a golf club.

"Thanks." I smiled as we headed out to the course.

"Wow!" He said. "That is a bright dinosaur."

I laughed. "I painted it." I said as we admired the bright orange paint that covered the T-Rex.

"Nice job." He smiled as I hit the ball and completely missed the hole, like always.

"Did I mention I'm really bad at this?" I laughed.

"It's ok. Maybe my skills will make up for your lack thereof." He joked as he hit the ball and completely missed, just as I had. "Or not."

I laughed as we made our way through the whole course and then decided on heading home. I couldn't believe that I had actually had a really good time. Of course, I wouldn't let it show that much to Tallie.

"I had a good time." Teddy said as we pulled into his driveway.

I nodded. "Me too."

"Thanks." He said as he pulled me into a hug.

"No, thank you." I said back. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"K. G'nite." He said and I waved as I made sure he got into the house safely before backing out and heading home, where I was sure Tallie's phone calls would be waiting for me.

----------

The next morning, I pulled on the same jeans I had worn the night before, with a t-shirt and a black hoodie that read 'BUCS' across the front before heading to the bathroom, where I pulled my straight, red hair into a pony tail.

I grabbed a bagel and my purse before heading to my Durango. My Mom had to leave for work earlie because someone had called in with the flu. Brooke had had a guy sleeping over, which no one knew about except for me, of course. I'm pretty sure his name was Jason, which was probably the guy with the blonde hair, but then again, you could never be sure with Brooke.

As I was leaving, I noticed that familiar red Chevy pulling into the driveway. I smiled and waved at Matt and figured he must've been driving since yesterday to get here so early in the morning. He stopped beside my car and rolled down his window. "Just the girl I was looking for." He winked at me. "Should I give her warning that I'm coming in or just go in and surprise her." If he only knew, I thought to myself.

"Most definately warn her and give her an hour." I told him. "You know how she is. You'll call her and give her a while, and then she'll still be asleep when you walk in."

He nodded. "I'll see you when you get back from school."

I knew he was going to go right in. This would be interesting. I just didn't want to be around for the fight that would most definately occur as soon as he walked into her room.

----------

"Hey Bailey!" I heard a guy say from behind me, and I expected it to be Teddy, but this time it was Seth Riggins. I had had a crush on him since we were freshmen.

"Hey... Seth." I knew I sounded way too surprised. "So I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go on a date with me tonight?"

"Oh. Um. Sure." Again, I sounded way too eager and way too surprised.

"Great. I'll pick you up at five?" I wanted to say 'No, its ok. I'll drive.' But I knew that wouldn't work so well, so I just agreed.

"Sure. See you then." I said before groaning to myself as he walked away.

"What's going on here?" Tallie asked curiously as her and Teddy walked up.

"Oh. Nothing. Nothing at all." I said quickly as I began putting my books in my locker and getting the ones I needed out.

"Yeah ok." She rolled her eyes. "What's going on, Captain?" I wasn't sure why she called me that, but she did.

"Like I said, nothing." I lied again.

"So Seth Riggins just came over here to say nothing?" She asked curiously. I really didn't want to hurt Teddy, but I finally answered her.

"No. He came over here to ask me on a date." I told her as I shut my locker and then faced her with my arms folded across my chest.

"Oh?" She asked, I knew Teddy was now giving me his undivided attention.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm going on a date tonight." I told her and I looked to Teddy.

He was scratching the back of his neck and looking at his feet. Why did I feel so horrible?

"Oh." She sounded surprised. "Well... Um." The bell rang and we all headed to homeroom, where Teddy remained uncomfortably silent and Tallie couldn't stop asking questions.

"Tallie." I finally stopped her. "Yes, I've had a crush on him since I was a freshman, yes I said I was going to go on a date with him. No, I don't know where we're going. Now, can we please drop it?" For some reason, I wasn't sure if I was actually looking forward to this date or not.

"Um. Sure." She said as she gave me a curious look and then looked at Teddy, who was laying his head on his desk and doodling on his paper.

She looked at me and whispered. "I feel so bad for him, ya know?"

I rolled my eyes. "We're not going there again." I said as I looked at him. "Teddy!"

He sat up and looked at me again. "Yeah?"

"Are you ok? You're being really quiet." He looked me right in the eyes and nodded, but I knew he wasn't. I made a mental note to talk to him later.

----------

"You're sure you're ok?"

He nodded. "It's not like this was an actual relationship. It was just one date. I'm fine." He told me.

"Ok."

"Thanks for showing me you really care about my feelings." He told me.

I nodded.

"I'm glad you're my friend. I won't take anything less." He told me as the bell rang and we parted ways - he went home and I went to the locker room to change for practice.

I wasn't sure why, but his words were haunting me. I found myself actually wanting to be his friend too.

[Kourtni]

oooh...a little bit of drama, i like! lol