Insecurities and Paralyzing Self-Doubt.

[Carie]

this si getting good...and i love it!
ill be waiting for more!

[[[ariane]]]

eibkngornmefsa.
i need more pleaseeee.

[Kaylie♥++]

moree!

[smile♥]

"I'm so glad this is my last year in high school," Spencer commented as we drove around in his truck late one night. I nodded as he continued. "I think I'll move back to Colorado."

"That sounds cool."

"You should come too. I mean, after school and everything." He suggested, but I didn't respond. "What? Is that not ok?"

I shrugged. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. "I don't have anybody there anymore... I mean, except for you."

"So what's the problem?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I guess maybe if you move back..."

He nodded. "Ok. Are you sure you're ok with that? I mean, I just always thought we knew we'd be together in the end anyway." What was that supposed to mean? Who's plan was this? "Married, I mean... With kids... And pets. The whole nine yards."

I wasn't sure what to say, so I let out a giggle. "What makes you think you want to marry me anyway?"

He laughed. "Remember when we were riding our bikes and I hit that stick and completely flipped over the handle bars and broke my arm? You sat there with me until Delia got my parents. You said 'Everything will be ok'. You took care of me. Ever since then... It's always been you."

Thank you, Seth Cohen. I smiled fakely, and I was almost positive he bought it. I sighed as I looked out the window as the rest of the ride was filled with silence.

----------

"Bailey, get the door!" My Mom called from the kitchen, where she was watching the frozen pizza in the oven like it was going to perform for her if she watched it close enough.

I opened it to see Teddy with the hood from his jacket over his head to block out the heavy rain pouring down on him. But his eyes still shined bright blue, like always. "Hey. I hope you don't mind. My family's all sick, and I'm tired of waiting on them hand and foot."

I laughed and waved him inside. "No, no. It's perfectly fine." I smiled at him as I took his jacket; I planned on putting it in the dryer for him so it would be dry when he left. "Mom, Ted's here."

"Hey Teddy," She smiled at him. "You want some pizza?"

"Sure," He smiled back as she handed him a paper plate with two slices on it.

Tonight was going to be a good night.

[curlykt]

If Teddy showed up on my door step soaking wet, it would be a good night for me too =D great chapter!

[Kaylie♥++]

ahah cutee, more!

[smile♥]

"So would you rather be trapped in a room with a member of PETA or Britney Spears?" I asked as we sat in my bedroom floor eating cookies and watching 'What Not To Wear'. There wasn't much on, so it was either makeovers or the reproductive habits of the tasmanian devil.

"Oh gah. What's a PETA?" He laughed.

"You don't know what PETA is?" I laughed. "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals?"

"Well, I like animals, so I'll choose that." He laughed. "What about you?"

"Well, considering that I think not being able to eat chicken and hamburgers is a bunch of crap, I'll choose Britney Spears." I laughed. "It'll make for some funny stories in the long run."

He laughed at me as he laid back and stared at the ceiling. "I just hope she wears underwear. For your sake."

I looked at him and burst into a fit of giggles as I smacked him across the stomach with my dark brown body pillow. He then proceed to sit up and tickle me with no remorse.

"Stop! Ahh! Stop..." I said as I began to run out of breath from laughing and squirming around like an idiot.

"Ok, ok. I'll stop, but only because I don't want you to pass out," he laughed and I rolled my eyes as his phone began to ring. "Hey Shay. Yeah, I'm chillin' out over here with Bailey... Yeah, Tallie and Spence are here too."

I snorted as I caught his lie. I knew Shayla would be furious if she knew the others weren't actually here. My phone began to ring as well, and I moved to answer it. "Hey Spence."

"Hey you." He said as I heard the wind in the background. He was visiting his Mom in Colorado for the weekend. I wasn't sure how anyone could afford that, but since it was her birthday, it must've been a one time thing. "So I just landed here... I really miss it, ya know?"

I nodded as I thought about my great-grandmother's house. She always had a shotgun under her bed, and she didn't have a bank account. She had a dog named Monster and a cat named Hank, who were overly protective of her.

"So have you thought about the other night?" He asked curiously. I had, but I was pretty sure it wasn't something I would be ready for at the end of my senior year.

"Yeah." I said unsurely. "I'm still not so sure about it, though."

He sighed. "Why not? I love you and I thought you loved me too... And I just want to be with you, ya know?"

I shook my head. "I do love you." But not the same way you love me. "I just... I like it here too."

By this time, Teddy was off the phone with Shayla, and I was almost sure he was eavesdropping on my side of the conversation. "Ok... I need to go, Mom's here. So I'll call you later, ok?"

"Yeah. Bye." I hung up the phone and tossed it onto my bed as I sighed and rested my head back on my mattress in an overly dramatic fashion.

"So how'd your conversation go?" I asked curiously as Teddy sat next to me with his head rested on the mattress next to mine.

"I decided to break up with her." He confessed without me having to prod it out of him.

"How come?"

"Where do I begin?" He laughed. "When we talk, I never get a word in. She loves to talk. She talks about nothing. Her voice is a really annoying high-pitched squeal... A few other reasons."

"Ok, ok," I laughed. "I get it."

"So what about your relationship?"

"Ha!" I rolled my eyes as I sat up and faced him. "He wants to move back after he graduates, and then after I graduate, he wants me to move out there with him."

"Oh." He sounded surprised. "Well, I hope you have fun with that."

I shrugged. "Yeah. I don't know."

"Well it's obvious that you two are in love," He commented and I rolled my eyes, but he didn't notice.

"He's in love."

"And you're not?" Teddy asked curiously.

I shook my head. "No. Not anymore. I mean back then, yeah I was. But he was the only thing I knew, ya know? People change."

It was like he didn't know what to say. Thank you, self for making this extremely uncomfortable situation.

"I need to get home."

I nodded. "See you at school."

"Yeah. Bye."

Wow. If that wasn't the most awkward moment of my life, I didn't know what was.

[Kaylie♥++]

awwww =] moree!

[[[ariane]]]

awwwe. cute.
that would be veryy awkward.
more please,

[Carie]

i love it
more? please?

[alyssa duhhh]

lmao. i love it.

smart teddy for breaking up with the skank face.

i mean.
shayla
or whatever the hell her name was.

[smile♥]

^^ hehe
The skank face
That's very good.
And thanks for the compliments!!

[Kourtni]

Awesome! Cannot wait for more.

[smile♥]

"Hey guys," I said as I sat my bag down next to them on the gym floor. This morning when everyone had arrived at school, there were teachers and other staff members posted at every entrance to the building to make sure every kid knew they had to go to the gym instead of heading to homeroom.

This only meant one of two things: There was either a bomb threat or they felt the need to bring out the drug dogs in the third week of the new school year.

It was our senior year... Finally. I was still a cheerleader, Teddy was still single, and Spencer was at college in Colorado. I was still with him, mostly because I was a stupid girl who didn't know how to say no or how to break up with anyone.

"Good morning sunshine," Tallie smiled at me as Jerome, the asian soccer player/dj/boyfriend, sat down with us. "You ready for the game tonight?"

I snorted. "I guess so. I'm just glad this is the last year."

She nodded in agreement. "Me too. Did you make a decision yet?"

I shook my head. Spencer had basically said that if I ever wanted to speak to him again, I had to give him an answer about after graduation by tonight after the game.

I looked to Teddy, who was directly across from me in our circle. He gave me a small smile, and my cheeks started to get hot.

"Do you love him or not?" Jerome asked.

"What?" I was confused at his question.

"Well if you really and truly loved him, you wouldn't be stringing him along like this. You would've given him a definite yes the first time he asked you," Tallie finished for him. Sometimes I thought they shared a brain.

"Who are you two to tell me I don't love my boyfriend?"

"We're your friends." They said at the same time.

"They're right, Bailey," Teddy spoke up. "I don't know what you're holding out for, but you know what you need to do."

He knew exactly what I was holding out for. After all the nights we stayed on the phone until two in the morning just to talk with each other... After every trip out to that lake in the early hours of the morning... After every moment we ever shared, He wanted to say that he didn't know what I was holding out for.

"Ok fine. You all want a straight answer?" I snapped as I glared at all of them. "I'm going."

----------

"Hey you," Spencer said over the phone later that night. "How was the game?"

"We won... and Ashley Kent broke her ankle after we brought her down from a stunt."

"That doesn't sound too good." He sympathized. "So?"

"So what?"

"You know what I'm asking." He stated and I rolled my eyes.

"I'll be there the week after graduation."

I could hear him smiling through the phone. I, on the other hand, wasn't so happy. "Good. I can't wait."

"Yeah." I faked my enthusiasm.

"I need to get some studying done," He informed me. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I nodded to no one. "Bye."

"I love you," He said.

I winced as I felt tears coming to my eyes. "Love you." I hung up the phone and placed it next to my computer.

I hated myself for being so fake.

[Kaylie♥++]

=[
she loves teddy.
GET WITH TEDDY, GIRL!
leave that other guy, BOOOO