Insecurities and Paralyzing Self-Doubt.

[curlykt]

geezum freaking crow....these people are driving me crazy...haha...man, it's twisted....what the heck is Teddy thinking?!?!?! wow....what a crazy turn of events....I seriously can't wait to read more!

[Kaylie♥++]

ahaha teddy's crazzzyyy! wooo! moree!

[alyssa duhhh]

dude wtf am i?! THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE FREAKIN WORLD.
i think so.
hahahah I LOVE YOU.
and i like this johnathan guy too now.
he's pretty polite.
the guys in your mind are amazing jamie.
MOREEEEEEE!

[Kourtni]

great update.
can't wait for more. =)

[Carie]

more!?

[[[ariane]]]

HES ENGAGED?
uhh no not cool.
moreeee?

[smile♥]

Tallie and I were spending the day shopping at the local mall, which took me almost an hour to find. What can I say? I'm not exactly used to the place yet.

"I totally approve of Jon, by the way," Tallie told me. "I actually like him better than Teddy."

"I would've thought you'd be, like, campaigning for Teddy the whole time you're here," I laughed.

"Well, see I understand how it was a high school fantasy. Remember when I was obsessed with Elliot Taylor?" I snorted and laughed. "Yeah, I know, right? That was just a silly little obsession that was never going to happen & for you, it had the chance to happen, but you realized it wasn't meant to be."

I nodded. "I'm really glad you understand."

She smiled at me. "Hon, I'm your best friend, and I'll always support you in whatever decision you choose, as long as it makes you happy."

I wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug before releasing her so that she could pay for the things she was buying for Lorelei.

----------

When I arrived home, Jerome and Jon were in the living room watching TV, while Lolo played in her little play pen that I had bought on sale for twenty dollars.

"Hey guys," I said as we walked in the door. I noticed that Jon had obviously been home, because he was wearing different clothes.

"Hey," Jon smiled at me as I sat down next to him.

"What did you men do while we were gone?" I laughed as they looked at each other with smirks.

"Nothing."

"Ok, now you have to tell us." I said demandingly.

"Us?" Tallie asked. "I know exactly what they were doing all day. Go ahead, tell her." She looked at Jerome.

"We bought a house." He smiled at me. "He showed me around town, or well, Virginia actually, and we bought a house. Tallie and I are going to move here. We just miss you that much, babe."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "No seriously, why are you guys moving here?"

"We like it," Tallie said as she gave her husband a kiss on the cheek.

"Awesome."

"Yes it is." She smiled at me. "This means we have to cut this visit short so that we can head home and start packing."

"Oh. Ok. That's cool. I have school tomorrow anyway," I informed them and they nodded. "So what about your job?"

"Well, as soon as everything's finished, I'm starting an office in Virginia." He smiled. "I'll be the manager/owner sort of thing."

"That's so awesome, you guys," I was so happy for them. They were my age and already had a family and enough money in the bank to pay for whatever they needed.

They stood and exited the room to pack, and Jon and I were left. "So I better get going." He told me. "I have class tomorrow as well, which means I need to make sure I've graded all the papers, read over the chapter again... All that fun stuff."

I smiled at him. "Have fun."

"Always." He said as he leaned in and gave me a kiss. "I'll see you, tomorrow night."

"Bye," I waved as he let himself out.

My best friend had a great family life, my other best friend was engaged and from what I could tell, he was happy too, and I was happy, but I wanted what Tallie had. I wanted a family. I wanted to be finished with school, with a job, and maybe even little miniature versions of myself running around a big front yard.

I wanted it.

[live.love.laugh]

sooo cute! i love this story! i can't believe ted is engaged with alyssa.... ahhh


more now please!

[alyssa duhhh]

now she wants a kid!
and she's got the genius stud to make it with.
hahahahah
MORE!

[smile♥]

genius stud. hahaha
and your character has the teddy stud to make it with!! LOL

more later!!

[alyssa duhhh]

AH I KNOW.
thats so amazing.
im such a fortunate fictional character



dsjafhsjd yeeeeeeey more!

[smile♥]

Tallie and Jerome lived here now, and they already had a second child, a boy this time: they named him Dallas. I couldn't believe that time was flying by so fast, I was already in the second semester of my last year in college (not that I wasn't ready for it to be over with, because believe me, I was totally ready).

I had Jon as my psychology teacher, and it was a wonder that no one had noticed anything yet. Of course, I did sit in the middle in an attempt to blend in, but occasionally he would use some of the students' names for examples, and mine was used quite a lot.

I realized that a couple of girls that were in my psychology class also lived in my aparment building, which made me think twice about him coming over at times when I knew they would notice him.

I sighed as I made my way to my closet and picked out a black bathing suit. I was extremely bored, seeing as how no one had called me in a few days, and I was a tad bit angry at Jon. The night before he didn't call or show up when I thought he would, seeing as how we usually saw each other that night, so I thought maybe he had been sick, but then when I saw him in class the next day, I knew he was fine.

Sure it was the first week of February, and it was freezing outside, but there was a hot tub for a reason, and I was going to use it.

I pulled on my thick robe and a pair of fuzzy purple house shoes and made my way to the hot tub with my cell phone in hand.

"Hello?" I asked as it began to ring, just as I entered the elevator. "Hey Ted."

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked calmly, but with a hint of anxiety in his voice.

"I'm about to go sit in the hot tub. What are you doing?"

"In February? Are you trying to get sick?" He laughed at me like I was completely stupid.

"I won't get sick from being cold, Ted." I laughed. "So what are you up to?"

"Well, um... I just got married." He said and laughed at himself.

"You what?!" I was shocked. I always thought he was a rational thinker, but I guess I was wrong.

"Yeah, um. Alyssa and I... We eloped."

"And what would make one want to elope?" I asked as I lowered myself into the hot tub: being careful not to get my phone wet.

"Well, I mean, I guess we didn't want our families to make a big fuss over it? I don't know. But it just felt right." He said.

"A big fuss? You know they're going to throw a fit over eloping, right?" I laughed. "I'm not trying to tell you what you should've done, but maybe you could've gone about it in a better way."

"I figured you'd say that." He chuckled. "I just thought you should be the first to know."

"Well thanks, and if you're happy, that's good." I said and I could hear him smiling over the phone. I missed seeing him. I missed Alyssa too. Maybe they should move here too. That would be hilarious.

"Thanks. I better get going, we're on our way to my parents' house and we've been missing for two days, so they'll probably flip." He said and I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh.

"Have fun with that. I really wouldn't want to be you right now." I laughed. "Bye Ted."

I hung up the phone and placed it on my towel as I closed my eyes and focused on the warmth of the tiny bubbles forming all around me.

Teddy was in for a crazy time with Alyssa, and I couldn't wait to hear about it. I knew she'd be happy, I could tell from the time she saw him in the coffee shop that she liked him. I smiled to myself as I thought about the lives of my friends and I. We were one crazy bunch.

I heard a car door slam and footsteps, so I opened my eyes. "Dr. Ryan!" I called out and his head swivelled in my direction, and I knew he had to think I was crazy.

"What are you doing?" He laughed as he came through the gate, which I left partly open so I wouldn't have to dig my key out to exit.

"Staying warm. What are you doing?" I giggled as he sat indian-style on the edge.

"Well, I came to see a student. I thought maybe she'd need some help with her notes, seeing as how I can talk as fast as I read."

I smirked. "Sounds like fun."

"Oh it is," he laughed and I splashed him with the water. "Don't I'll get all cold."

I shook my head. "Get in with me."

"Hello? Wearing clothes here."

"So take them off," I joked and he smirked at me.

"Yeah because I'm sure we all want to see that."

I giggled as I stood to get out. It was time I head back inside anyway. After drying myself off and wrapping my robe around me, we were on our way back to my apartment. But the two voices behind us made us stop dead in our tracks.

My eyes went wide and I whispered. "Mandy and Jennifer." As I frantically pushed the up button on the elevator in an attempt to make it get to us faster.

"Forget it, let's take the stairs," he said and grabbed my hand.

"They lock those doors after eleven," I informed him just as the elevator door swung open, and we hurried inside, but the girls caught up to us.

Awkward wasn't even the best word to describe the trip to my floor, but when he got off with me, I knew that we would hear about it in the next class.

----------

"So, I was going to wait until Valentine's Day to give you this, but um... I bought it just before I came here and I couldn't wait." he said and smiled as we laid on my bed watching TV.

He pulled out a black box that contained a small, diamond ring.

"Will you marry me?" I was shocked that he had been so sudden about it. I thought he would be more of a waiting person. "I've never had a relationship before, but this is what I want. Please?"

I smiled at him and nodded. "Yes."

[possibilities909]

ahhh! more more more!

i want her to be with teddy! but it feels right this way

[smile♥]

thanks!

[alyssa duhhh]

I ELOPED?!
dude thats awesome

adksfhjsdkaf she's getting marriedddddddd!