I Have A Secret

[Carie]

cute cute cute!
i love it
more?

[jmlove]

awww lovedd itttt
more more moreee=]

[socarryon44]

Ahh so good!
And cute, and awesome, and amazing...
More please

[smile♥]

Chris and Teddy sat through the whole entire practice like a couple of four-year-olds at a Doctor's appointment. Sure, you'd think a couple of teenage guys would love to watch a bunch of athletic girls in short shorts jump around and yell ridiculous cheers like it was cool, but for Teddy and Chris, it was like watching a bad TV show.

To say they were relieved when it was over would be a definite understatement.

"We'll be right back," Taylor informed them before we went to change into our normal clothes.

"Well, we're going to wait outside then," Teddy said as he stood up and stretched.

We both nodded before walking to the locker room.

"So are you sure you're ok?" She asked as we changed. "Because we're all really worried about you. I mean, I know you're hiding another bruise on your face."

"Its nothing, ok?" I sat down to pull on my shoes. "I'm fine."

"Don't get snappy with me. I'm your best friend and I'd like to know whats going on with you," I could tell by the tone in her voice she was upset, but I just couldn't tell her.

I shook my head and laughed, "I'm fine, ok? But I really need to get home. I've got lots of homework." I lied again. I made a mental note to kick myself in the face when I got home.

She sighed, but dropped the conversation as she picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. "Ok. By the way, Teddy told Chris, who told me... That he thinks you're really cute. He's been "watching" you, if ya know what I mean." She winked and elbowed me playfully.

I let out a huge laugh. "Me, cute? Hmm. Funny."

"You don't think you're cute?" She laughed. "You're adorable. Anybody would kill to be your size and not put effort into it. And your hair, can you tell me how many times you've heard Heather Sinclair say she went to the hair salon to try to get that color? Everyone wants to be blonde... If you even knew how much I hate trying on clothes... You'd realize how lucky you are."

"Come on, you're skinny too!" I tried to convince her.

"But I have to work at it, hon, not like you." I gave her a skeptical look and she smiled as we opened the door to the outside. "Trust me, you're hot, ok?"

I laughed at her and smacked my butt. "You want some of this."

We both laughed hysterically as we joined the guys. Tay and Chris got into their own little conversation, while Teddy and I had our own.

"So I see you totally hate cheer leading practice."

He groaned. "Please don't make me sit through it again. Most guys would, but... I don't know, it's ok I guess."

I laughed. "I hate it. We both do. The only reason we still do it is because we've been doing it since we were kids. Plus, if we did a different sport, it would be a disaster. I mean, have you seen Tay try to dribble a basketball... It's like watching Frankenstein trying to do the hula."

He laughed as I imitated a stiff Frankenstein trying to dance. "You're goofy," he told me. "That's cute."'

I felt my cheeks start to get warm and I looked to where Taylor was standing with Chris. They were off in their own little world, and I was in mine.

"So, are you ok? Lately you've seemed a little... off."'

"Yeah, I guess it's just the time change. We're getting into winter and everything. Everybody gets a little blue in the winter months, I guess." He nodded. "What happened?"

He pointed to my face and I shook my head. I didn't want to lie. "I um.. Was pushed into the wall." I didn't say by who, "It was a complete accident."

He nodded as if he accepted that answer. "Well, I've got to go, so I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," I waved as he climbed in his car and drove off.

He was so cute... I just wanted to pinch his cheeks like an eighty-year-old grandma.

I sighed as I looked at Taylor and Chris... I wanted a relationship like that.

[alyssa duhhh]

eeeeeeeeeee i wish she would tell them whats up

ajkdfhsd MORE

[foryouiwont18]

more please.........

[jmlove]

i love this
and i need more<3

[smile♥]

I wasn't sure why I was crying, but it must've been the fact that Tay and I had been talking about my Mom and how she was always so loving before she died. The fact that my Dad wasn't home probably had something to do with it as well. It meant he'd come home drunk off his rocker and beat me again. I hated it, especially the part about lying to my friends and Tay's family... They were the only real, loving family I had now.

I wiped my face as I made my way to my room and started on my homework. I didn't even leave my room to eat once I started, I just kept to my room as if something bad would happen if I left and someone was to see I had been crying.

I signed on to my computer, which happened to be the slowest computer on the face of the planet (it was made in the stone age, I swear). No one was on instant messenger, but I left it on anyway, just in case someone signed on while I was searching through the endless amount of band and television fan-based websites.

stststutter481: hello?
lullabyXrockabye: who is this?
stststutter481: is this addy?
lullabyXrockabye: yea, who is this?
stststutter481: ted
lullabyXrockabye: oh, hey
stststutter481: cool screen name.. it reminds me of a song
lullabyXrockabye: "everything's gonna be alright... rockabye.." lol
stststutter481: it's coming to me... hold on... ok i can't remember, but its a good song
lullabyXrockabye: shawn mullins... lullaby...
stststutter481: ahh.. ok.
lullabyXrockabye: what about yours? stuttering man
stststutter481: i couldn't think of anything, so i was like, i stutter sometimes when i'm nervous, soo... stutter it is... ha
lullabyXrockabye: cool cool

I heard the front door open and slam and I started to panic.

lullabyXrockabye: hey, sorry to cut this short, but i really really have to go... sorry...

I put up an away message and minimized everything as I heard my Dad yell my name.

----------

No sleep for me tonight. By the time he was finished with me, it was two in the morning already, and I didn't want to risk it. I just sat in the corner of my bed, the one that was against the wall, with my knees pulled tightly to my chest. I cried a little, but by four, I knew I should probably stop. I would look like a mess in the morning.

I noticed the few IMs I had received from Ted after I had put up the away message, but I didn' want to respond. Maybe he thought I had to help my Dad with dinner, or maybe he thought I was even spending quality time with him, maybe he thought I would get in trouble if I was caught on the internet so late, when I should really be sleeping. I only hoped he didn't think I stopped talking to him on purpose.

"Hello?" I whispered into my phone. I didn't want to wake my Dad, he would get angry. "Hello?" I could tell my voice was still shaky and tear-filled as I spoke.

"Everything will be ok..." Then they hung up. That voice... It was so familiar... But it was being disguised, like they were holding something over the speaker end to muffle it just a little so I didn't recognize them... But they knew me, and they wanted me to know they would make everything ok...

I sighed as I whispered the lyrics from that old Shawn Mullins song to myself... "Everything's gonna be alright... rockabye.... rockabye... rockabye..."

Maybe it would be ok...

[Kourtni]

Cuteeeee!

[Carie]

so cute!

[smile♥]

THANKS!

OH! Just so you know, updates will be on the small side (if any) this week... I have TONS of stuff to do

But after that, there will be more, I promise!

[smile♥]

The bruises were easy to hide, but the way I winced when I stood up or sat down, or even breathed the wrong way was the hard part to hide.

"Hello?" I had just finished get ready for school. I sat on my bed, with the door locked as I waited to see Tay's Liberty roll into my driveway.

"Hey, it's me!" She said perkily. Her happiness made me smile. "I'm totally sorry, but I have to go to the dentist this morning, meaning I won't be able to take you to school, but I made a phone call, and you should have a ride at your house in a few minutes."

"Oh?"

"It's Ted... I figured since you have a thing for him and he has a thing for you... I could smoosh you two together for a little while," She giggled on the other end and I laughed silently as I shook my head back and forth.

"Ok. Thanks for letting me know. He's here, so I'll see you later."

"K, bye." She hung up and I quietly headed out the door.

----------

"You ok?" He asked after I had been silent for a good five minutes.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm just tired. I didn't sleep at all last night," I wasn't completely lying. I just left a few parts out.

"Oh. I sent you a few IMs, but I figured you were spending time with your parents."

"My Dad," I corrected him. "My Mom died."

"Oh..."

"It's ok..." I sighed as I looked at my hands.

"You want a Red Bull? I usually drink two, but you look a little sleepy..." He laughed and I accepted his offer as we pulled into the parking lot.

We sat in the car as I finished the drink and talked.

"So... How did you get my screen name?"

"Well, I took a few piano lessons from the same person as Tay the other day... you know, just to brush up on my skills," he laughed goofily, "And while I was there, I asked her for it.

"Why'd you ask her for it?" I laughed.

"I figured since I sort of already knew her, and she's dating my best friend, and you're her best friend, I should get to know you as well..."

"Oh.. That's cool."

"You ready to go in?" He asked as I took the last sip and I nodded just as Sadie began to prance herself in our direction.

"So you really are dating her now? That's so sad, because it's completely obvious that she wants to be me." She rolled her eyes. "I mean, look at her shirt, it's the same one I have on."

"I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose, Sadie. It's not like she has spy cameras set up in your room or something," he rationalized with her and I couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"What are you laughing at, midget?" She came over to me. "Take off the shirt. You're not wearing it."

"What? No." I laughed at her as she began pulling at the hem.

"Take it off!" She screamed and began pulling, ripping it up the side in the process. Great. Suddenly she stopped. I wasn't sure if it was the bruises she saw, but whatever clicked in her brain did something. "Sorry," she mumbled and turned around.

I grasped the two pieces of fabric and began pushing them back together as if they would automatically fuse together and I could act like it never happened, but it didn't stick.

"Here, don't worry about it." Teddy said. "I've got a gym shirt in my bag, and I can wear it. I'll give you this shirt."

He pointed to the light blue t-shirt he was wearing, and I tried to refuse, saying I would just get something out of my bag when Tay got there. We always left our bags in her car.

"You're going to wait until lunch to get a shirt?" He asked. "Come on, I don't mind."

He grabbed his gym bag and slung it over his shoulder and wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we made our way inside.

"It'll be ok." He laughed as a few people gave me weird looks, and I couldn't help but agree with him.

But then my thoughts drifted back to what made Sadie stop. She had seen them, and I was sure Ted had seen them as well. He would tell Tay and Chris, and they would ask. Teddy wouldn't, he would wait and let me tell the truth on my own accord, but with Tay, she would pull it out of me.

I felt tears coming, and I couldn't stop them.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry. I'm giving you my shirt, and it'll all be like new." He smiled at me. "All better."

"Like a band-aid." I laughed through the tears as I wiped my face.

He laughed and nodded. "Just like a band-aid. I'm going to change and then I'll bring my shirt out to you, ok?"

I nodded as I stood there waiting.

----------

"Your knight in shining armor," Tay mocked and I rolled my eyes as I threw a sock at her. "No but seriously, he totally likes you. He told me when you were in the bathroom at lunch."

"Shut up."

"I will not! I'm serious!" She laughed at me as we made our way out to the gym. I had pretty much forgotten about my bruises because of all the Tylenol I had taken had helped, but now it would get worse. We were doing stunts.

----------

"Addalyn!" Coach Bradley yelled. "Why aren't you getting that?! It's the easiest thing to do, and you're perfect at it! Where'd that go?!"

I mumbled a sorry as I tried to hide the pain, but I was almost in tears.

"Five, six, seven, eight..." Tay counted off as she waited for me to jump into her hands. I jumped, they tossed me, but when I landed, it was like a thousand knives jabbing into me.

I wanted to just curl into a ball and pass out right then and there, but the passing out was the hard part.

"What's going on over here?" Coach Bradley was furious.

"I'm cramping really bad, it's nothing. I'm sorry," I lied to her and Tay gave me a look. "It's just hurting all over. I'm trying, I really am."

She gave me a wary look but nodded as she finally let us all go. I ran to the locker room and hid myself in a bathroom stall to look at my sides. They were worse than they had been this morning.

"Addy?" Tay asked from outside the door. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied.

"You're not fine. Listen, I happen to know for a fact that it's not your time of the month, so there's no way you should be cramping." She informed me. "What's going on? Be real with me here for just one second."

"Nothing is going on!" I snapped. "I'm tired of everybody asking me what's wrong."

I flung the door open and faced her. She had a hurt look on her face. "Well when you get ready to tell me, let me know." She was so calm about it. She just backed away.

She didn't speak to me the whole way home either. I was glad she had given me a ride and hadn't left me there to walk home, but I was sad that she was mad. I just couldn't tell her.

"Hello?" I asked angrily as I entered the house.

"Everything will be ok."

"Who the hell is this? I'm really getting sick of you calling me. You don't even know me!"

They hung up and I tossed the phone onto my bed and began to cry. My best friend didn't want to talk to a liar...

----------

stststutter481: hey.. how are you?
lullabyXrockabye: i don't know... tay's mad at me
stststutter481: yeah, i just heard from chris... lol
lullabyXrockabye: she shouldn't be mad
stststutter481: well... she feels like you're not telling her things you should be...
lullabyXrockabye: like what?
stststutter481: she thinks your Dad is beating you
lullabyXrockabye: what do you think?
stststutter481: i think, there's this girl... that i really care about... who is confused. she doesn't know what to do, because she loves her dad, but she hates him when he's drunk...
lullabyXrockabye: how'd you know he's an alcoholic?
stststutter481: i saw him on the porch this morning... he'd threw up on himself and there was a bottle sitting on the railing... when he saw me, he got embarassed and went back inside
lullabyXrockabye: oh...
stststutter481: you should tell someone... before something bad happens...
lullabyXrockabye: i will, tomorrow, but i have to go now... bye

My Dad was home, and he was yelling my name, but the only thing I could think about was Teddy and how he had said "there's this girl... that i really care about.."

[live.love.laugh]

oh boy sooo good!!! jamie you are the best!!

[jessb]

Amazing!
Must have more...
Even if they're short!
Update soon please!

[alyssa duhhh]

AHHH HOLY CRAP

this is like, a lifetime movie~

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