All That I'll Stand For

[[.j.a.i.m.i.e.]]

whoa.
this is crazy!
i feel awful for chad...but i still love teddy

[crazy4teddy15]

no way! so good! yeah i feel really bad for chad but i do love teddy!

[live.love.laugh]

ahh! this is way good!! more please!

[Carie]

good!
post more!

[smile♥]

The hospital was quite busy that night. I ran up to the front desk immediately and began asking the nurse tons of questions.

"Ma'am." She said firmly, trying to calm me down. "If you'll just follow me.. calm down, please."

We all followed her through a crowded hallway to one of the only rooms with a door. She stopped and began talking again. "He's had a lot of blood loss. He was shot in the stomach. They've got him stabilized and they've done the best they can to stop the internal bleeding."

I nodded as she opened the door. Another nurse was standing off to the side to watch him. I assumed all critical patients had to be watched like this. The lady that had been at the front desk left and all three of us stood there looking at him.

He must of heard us breathing over the slow beeps of one of the machines he was hooked up to, because he opened his eyes and looked at us. "Mmm."

"Shh..." I started to crying. "We're all here. Me, Rache, and Ted." I told him as I ran my hand over his hair.

"Baby.." He mumbled. "I love you... I... love Rachel. Is she awake?"

"No honey, she's sleeping. Ted's watching her right now." I informed him as I tried to keep the tears from coming out.

"He's a good guy," He said to me as he tried to take a deep breath. "I love you so much."

"I love you so much," I told him as I saw a tear run down his face.

He moved his head slowly to look at Teddy. Teddy looked at him with a questioning look. "Take care of both of them for me."

"Hey, don't talk like that, man," He told him. "It's going to be ok."

Rachel woke up and turned around, not recognizing where she was. She saw Chad laying there on the table. "Daddy? What's wrong?"

I knew all three of us had to be crying now. I wiped the tears off of his face. "Don't cry, Daddy." He tried to smile at her, but he was too sad.

"Baby," He began as Teddy sat her on the edge of the bed. "I want you to be a good little girl, ok?"

"I'm always good, silly." She smiled at him.

"I know, angel." He ran his hand over her head softly. "I love you and I don't ever want you to forget how much I love you, ok?" She nodded.

"What's wrong Daddy?"

"I love you and your Mommy very much. I love Uncle Teddy, too. He'll probably be watching you a lot more, now. Be good for him too, ok?"

She nodded. "I love you too, Daddy." She leaned forward and gave him a hug and kissed him, like always.

"Now... go... get some sleep... for me?"

"Ok. Nite Daddy. I love you."

"I love you, sweetheart." I was crying so hard by now. Teddy took Rachel out of the room to sit on a bench just outside the room so she could sleep.

"Baby, please don't cry." He said. "I want you to be happy."

"Stop talking like this," I ordered him through my tears. "You're going to be ok." I tried to tell him, and myself, but I had a bad feeling in my gut.

"Baby..." He tried to breath in. "I love you. Let... Ted... take care.."

I let out a big sob as the beeping on the heart monitor became fast and irregular. "I love you." I said as the nurse called for a doctor and some extra help. "Don't go.. I love you." I cried even harder.

"Love you..."

"Mr. Matthews..." The nurse said as he lost conciousness. "Mr. Matthews!"

"Oh God.." I sobbed as another nurse helped escort me out of the room. "No I want to stay."

"You can't stay, I'm sorry, ma'am."

The only thing left to do was pray.
- - - - - - - - - -

Thrity minutes later, the doctor came out to talk to us. He looked like a really nice family man. "I... am so sorry. We did everything.."

My tears started pouring again and Teddy rubbed my back while Rachel kept sleeping. "You can go in and see him again if you'd like."

I stood, telling Teddy to stay where he was and followed the doctor in. I couldn't hold back anything anymore. He looked so... vacant, just lying there.

The docor left for a while and let me sit there. "I'm going to miss you." I told him. I kept thinking about what he told me about Teddy taking care of me. He knew Ted would try... And he also knew he was going to go.

I grabbed his hand, which was cold now from all the blood loss. Now I had to make all kinds of funeral arrangements and everything. I didn't know the first thing about any of it.

I layed my head down on the bed and began crying even more. I didn't even notice when the doctor came in to tell me they were taking him to the morgue. It was up to me to call the funeral home.

I nodded and kissed his forehead before leaving the room and sat down on the bench outside. I called the funeral home and left a message, since it was after hours.

Teddy helped me up and walked with one arm around me as he carried Rachel with the other arm. He instructed me to get in the passenger seat and let him drive. I wanted to drive.

"No. You're worse off than me..." He said. "Get in."

I nodded as I got in and laid my head against the window. I couldn't even fall asleep because I was so upset. I just lost the one thing I had promised forever to.

I didn't even notice us pulling up to the house until Teddy came to my door and opened it for me, helping me slide out and carrying me up the stairs. He laid me in my bed and tucked the covers up around me. He Laid the pillows where Chad used to sleep long ways, to give the effect of someone laying there.

"Get some sleep, ok?" He said as he kneeled down next to my face. "And sleep as late as you want. I'll call your job for you, and I'll bring you breakfast. I'll take care of Rachel all day, you just get as much sleep as you need."

I sighed as a tear rolled down both of our faces. We both reached up at the same time to wipe each other's off.

"See you in the morning." He told me as he left the room and flipped the light off.



So what do you think?? Let me know!!

[Durr Its Lizzz]

omg this is getting sooo good!
i feel so bad for tay.
but she still has teddy
they were ment to be!
post more, please
i seriously cant wait for more.
[:

[Cristina]

this is amazing! poor Tay and Rachel but good thing they still have Ted to take care of them. well...can't wait to see what happens next!

[Carie]

awww poor tay and rachel
thats so sad....
i cant wait to see what happens next

[live.love.laugh]

OMG!!!!

[crazy4teddy15]

ahhh so sad! more please?

[smile♥]

I almost didn't go to the funeral. I felt like I couldn't handle all the questions from everyone and Rachel running around, being too young to understand that her Daddy was never coming back.

I tried to explain it to her, and she said she knew what I was talking about, but I assumed she was just acting like she knew. "I know." She told me. "I saw him in a dream and said everything was ok and that Teddy was going to take care of me like he used to." She smiled at me proudly for sounding all grown up.

I cried for hours after that, not really knowing why.

- - - - - - - - - -

After everything was said and done, I had probably a million dollars worth of flowers filling up my house. Everywhere I turned, I was getting another potted plant to take up space. Sure, a few were ok, but after the tenth one, I was ready to burn them all.

Teddy had had to head back to New York to take care of some stuff with his record label, and would be back later on the next week to help with Rachel. I insisted we would be ok, but I was secretly glad he would be around to keep me company.

Every night I dug my face into the pillow he used. It smelled just like his hair after a shower, which always calmed my body down from the day and helped me relax. Now, it made me sad and made me cry myself to sleep, which usually only lasted a couple of hours. When Teddy was around, he insisted that I let him wash it, but I refused.

He was like my personal maid now. Sure, I cleaned when he wasn't there, but for some reason, everytime he came he felt the need to vacuum and dust and scrub the bathtub.

The doorbell rang and I ran to answer it, not wanting Rachel to wake up from her nap. Jaimie was patiently waiting on the other side.

"Hey doll," She smiled at me. "How are you doing today?"

"Some days are worse than others," I told her. "The nights are what kills me. Everytime the clock strikes twelve o' three I feel sad and then when I curl up next to his pillow and smell the scent his hair left I start bawling. I'm so depressed over it."

She nodded. "I'm so sorry. I've never been there, but it must be awful. I don't know what I'd do."

I smiled. I was glad someone was finally saying I know exactly what you're going through when they really didn't. Teddy understood because he was close to the family, and Chad's parents knew, and possibly Rachel, if she really did understand what I was talking about; Everyone else didn't, they just thought they did.

"Hey! You smiled! I must've said something right, eh?" She laughed as she held the door open for Ashton and their two kids. A boy and a girl. Brooke and Taylor... they were the goofiest and most dramatic kids I had ever met.

"Is Rachel awake?" Brooke asked excitedly.

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. She should be waking up soon, though, but in the mean time, just try to be as quiet as you can, ok? She didn't get much sleep last night." I was telling the truth. Everytime I tucked her in, she woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. She would sit there in the dark and talk to her stuffed animals for hours until she finally fell asleep again.

Brooke nodded as I led them all up to the guest room where they would be staying. Brooke was a year older than Rachel, but they were like best friends. It was so cute. Taylor was the same age, but he would mostly just pick on them.

"Ok, so Ash is going to watch the kids for us, and we are going shopping and then we're going to get something to eat, k?" She ordered more than asked.

She pulled my arm down into my bedroom and into the closet where she pulled out a nice pair of jeans and a cute top. "I know you're depressed and everything, but if you stay in those sweats, you're going to lose your figure, ok?" She laughed and I knew she had made that up. I laughed at her as she continued. "You're going to wear this, so go take a quick shower and I will wait for you in the living room, k?"

"When did you become so bossy?" I joked.

"When I became a Mom. It's like encoded in our DNA. You're just like me, you just don't realize it," She laughed as she left the room and I had no choice but to get ready for her.

- - - - - - - - - -

I showered and got dressed and even threw on some mascara just as my little surprise for Jaimie. She would be happy to see that I took some time to do something myself and that I wasn't really moping around like everyone thought I was.

I really wasn't moping. I had cleaned the entire house, minus Chad's pillow four or five times in one week, just to give me something to do while Rachel was at preschool and while I was off work.

I went back on Monday, and I was more than happy.

"Let's go hotcakes!" Jaimie said as I walked out of the room.

I laughed at her again as I noticed Rachel sitting in the floor coloring with Taylor and Brooke. "Mommy is going out with Aunt Jaimie for a while, ok? I'll be back after dinner."

"Ok, Mommy." She said and smiled at me. "I love you."

"Love you too, angel."

Jaimie and got into her SUV and we headed towards the mall.

"So I hear Teddy's been staying over a lot to help you?" She asked curiously and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Jaimie, he has."

"And he washed tons of clothes when he's here?" She asked again.

"Yes, Jaimie, he does."

"Ok. That's cool." She said. "So are you going to keep the house, or what?"

"Yeah I'm keeping it," I told her. "The only way I wouldn't would be if I got a job somewhere else or something like that."

"So what if you were to meet someone?"

"Jaim!" I cried. "My husband just died!"

"I know, and I'm not forcing anything on you," She said. "I'm just saying what if, like, five years down the road you meet someone and.. you know the rest.."

"Then I guess I would move." I told her as I thought about what Chad had said to me while he was in the hospital. I sighed. "You know what is weird?"

"Hmmm?" She asked as she turned her blinker on to switch lanes.

"It's like Chad knows something I don't." I told her. "He said let Teddy take care of you, like he could see into the future as he was laying there."

"So do you think..." She trailed off.

"I don't know." I told her. "And I don't really want to think about it right now."

"Ok. Then we won't." She said as she parked and we both got out. She linked arms with me and smiled. "Let's have fun tonight."

"Let's do it," I tried to laugh as she kept me walking across the parking lot.

I had to admit, she was very good at cheering me up. She had already made me smile several times; She had even made me laugh. She really was a true friend.

[[.j.a.i.m.i.e.]]

wow. that was crazy good.
not gonna lie...i'm all teary eyed!
&& now i feel bad for not liking chad as much as teddy

[smile♥]

^^ haha.. why's that?

[Durr Its Lizzz]

oh my, this is getting too good
i cant get enough
post more please?
[:

[[.j.a.i.m.i.e.]]

jaimie37 said:

wow. that was crazy good.
not gonna lie...i'm all teary eyed!
&& now i feel bad for not liking chad as much as teddy

haha so i think what happened was i posted this comment at the same time you posted the new segement so this comment is supposed to be for the one when chad dies....

and then this comment is for this segment.....
that jaimie girl IS such a good friend lol
i can't wait to see what happens between tayah and teddy!