Post by smile♥ on Jul 2, 2006 23:27:22 GMT -5
I woke up to the sound of my stomach growling loudly, begging me for food. I put on my shoes and grabbed my purse before walking out the door. There was a Quiznos at the corner that I visited quite often, especially when I didn't feel like cooking anything for just one person.
I ran into Chad on the way out. "Hey there gorgeous."
"Hey yourself."
"So where are you off to?" He asked curiously. He was so confident and I really liked that. "Anywhere I can join, maybe?"
I felt my cheeks start to get warm and I smiled as I looked towards a shop across the street. "Ok."
He smiled warmly and offer his arm out for me to link mine with. "So where are we going?"
"Quizno's." I told him. "I go there often."
"So I've noticed." I looked at him curiously. "I see you carrying a cup all the time."
"Oh.. yeah." I smiled.
- - - - - - - - - - -
The night was going great. We had been there longer than I had planned. But, it was really fun. He was a very nice and entertaining guy.
"So.. Do you believe in love at first sight?" He asked curiously.
I was taken aback by this question. It was definately something I hadn't expected. "I'm more of a friends first, more serious later type of person."
"Oh?"
I nodded. "Yeah.." I thought back to everything Teddy and I had been through.
"So you were in love once?" He asked curiously.
I nodded, but the truth was I would always be in love with Teddy. "Yeah.. yeah, I was."
"What happened?" He asked almost instantaneously. "If you don't mind me asking."
"We never actually were, like, an official couple or anything. But he told me I was his best friend, and then everyone started telling me that they could tell he was falling for me and everything. So we made a few dumb decisions." I told him about the hook up I had caused between him and Ashley, then about Ty and I and. "So then on Christmas break we got over our little argument and then this ex of his pops up out of nowhere and I'm mad at him again because I was in love with him and I knew he felt the same." I finished telling my story, right down to the night after graduation.
"Wow. It's like a movie." He said. "So you don't even want to see him anymore?"
I shrugged. "I miss him. But he sent me a letter the other day because my best friend, Jaimie, gave in and gave him my address. He's going to be in town a couple weeks from now, though and we're going to hang out. Catch up and stuff, ya know?"
He nodded. "It's good that you're meeting him again so that he doesn't blame himself... "
"So you blame yourself for something Mr. Matthews?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah." He answered. "I was dating this girl... that I thought I was in love with. She was one of those girls you hardly ever meet anymore. You know... conservative, shy but outgoing at the same time... Kind of like you."
I smiled.
"Anyway. One day she committed suicide. No one knew why. I thought everything in our relationship was going great. I spent all my free time with her. I told her how much I loved her. I couldn't figure it out."
"That's awful." I said.
He nodded. "Yeah. About a year before she... " He trailed off, not wanting to say it. "I started noticing that she was losing a ton of weight and I noticed cuts on her arms and stuff. I couldn't figure it out."
"I'm sorry."
He looked as if he was going to cry. "I felt like I saw all the warning signs and never did anything about it. I asked her about it, but she just blew it off like it was nothing. I told her parents but she blew up on them. I felt like I could have done something to stop it." He paused. "I was the one who found her. I went to her dorm to wake her up and the door was unlocked from her roomate just leaving to go to class. I went in and she was just laying there. Like she had died in her sleep."
"I'm so sorry."
"The autopsy said she had overdosed on something and that there were also traces of cocaine in her system." He told me and I reached out and touched his hand where it was resting on the table.
"I wish I could say something other than I'm sorry." I told him. "Or it's not your fault. But both of those things are true. You told her parents, you asked her about it. She ignored it... you had nothing to do with it."
"It was so selfish of her." He said. "I hated her for it. I stopped eating for like a month until my friend Jay took me to the hospital after I blacked out one day and while I was there they made me do counseling."
I nodded. I had never actually told anyone other than my friends about my feelings for Teddy. I had never sat down with someone and had them tell me about their past relationship.
"You want to head back now?" I suggested and he nodded.
He took my hand as I led him out of the restaraunt that was nearing closing time and to our apartment building. He rode the elevator to my floor with me, even though his was one below mine. He was a really nice guy and he reminded me of Teddy.
"I guess I'll see you Monday when I check my mail again?" I laughed and he smiled.
"Yeah. We should do this again some time." He said. "I really had a great time with you."
I nodded. "Me too." What was with me? I had sworn off the dating thing, but now I was back in it. I did like him, but I think the only reason was because he reminded me of Ted.
He leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the mouth that was so sweet and innocent in a way. I smiled at him. "Do you want to come in and watch some tv? I hear that The Real World is super interesting this season." I offered and he nodded.
The only tv was in my bedroom, so we had to sit in there and watch it, which wasn't suggestive or anything like that. It was just two friends, sitting on a bed watching The Real World.
- - - - - - - - - -
The next morning I woke up under the white comforter and back and white floral print sheets next to a fully clothed Chad, minus a shirt. When had I climbed under the covers and changed clothes.
I rolled onto my side, facing him and watched him as he began waking up.
"Morning sunshine," I said to him as he rubbed his face in the pillows like Teddy always did. "Do you, by any chance, know when I changed clothes?"
"After the show ended." He said. "You went and changed and then got under the covers and we continued watching whatever came on next."
"Oh." I smiled as he gave me a kiss.
"Why? Were you making sure we didn't..." I nodded. "What if we had?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I would be glad that you didn't leave right after."
He laughed. It was a loud, infectious laugh that made me smile. "I would never do that." With each word he said he was taking me over. I couldn't help it. He was such a nice guy.
But then I thought about Teddy, sweet Teddy. I missed him, and I would always love him, but I didn't want to be with him. He was a musician, traveling across the country for months at a time that I would hardly ever get to see. Chad, though, I could see all the time.
"So I have a paper to do," I told him.
He threw his hands up. "Ok.. ok. I'll leave you alone... for now."
I smiled. "It's not like that."
"I know. My little doctor." He laughed as I walked him to the door. "I'll see you later." He gave me another kiss and then left.
- - - - - - - - - -
A few hours later, when I decided I needed to give my legs some exercise, I got up to just walk down the hall a bit and then some back to finish my work.
I began to step out before noticing a bouquet of yellow daisies, my favorite flower - yes tomboys do have favorite flowers, but then again, I had left that label behind when I finished my freshman year of college.
I picked them up before reading the card that was from Chad.
I smiled to myself as I found a square glass vase to put them in and sat the on the coffee table in my living room. It made such a pretty picture that I had to have a copy of it myself.
I picked up my phone and dialed Jaimie's number. "Hello?" She asked after answering the phone on the first ring. The kids must've been asleep.
"Hey, it's me."
"Oh hey!" She said. "What's up?"
"Well. I went on a date." I told her.
She didn't respond for a minute and I assumed she was somewhat shocked. "Oh. What's his name?"
"Chad." I told her before describing our night together, and telling her about the flowers.
"Wow. Your favorite."
"I know." I told her. "I like him."
"Good for you." She said. "I'm glad you're happy for once. I just hope that you tell Teddy when you see him."
"Yeah. I'm trying not to think about that right now." I told her as I heard a baby start crying. We said our goodbyes and I sat the phone back on it's receiver.
I looked at the flowers before returning to my paper. It wasn't just going to write itself, you know...
I ran into Chad on the way out. "Hey there gorgeous."
"Hey yourself."
"So where are you off to?" He asked curiously. He was so confident and I really liked that. "Anywhere I can join, maybe?"
I felt my cheeks start to get warm and I smiled as I looked towards a shop across the street. "Ok."
He smiled warmly and offer his arm out for me to link mine with. "So where are we going?"
"Quizno's." I told him. "I go there often."
"So I've noticed." I looked at him curiously. "I see you carrying a cup all the time."
"Oh.. yeah." I smiled.
- - - - - - - - - - -
The night was going great. We had been there longer than I had planned. But, it was really fun. He was a very nice and entertaining guy.
"So.. Do you believe in love at first sight?" He asked curiously.
I was taken aback by this question. It was definately something I hadn't expected. "I'm more of a friends first, more serious later type of person."
"Oh?"
I nodded. "Yeah.." I thought back to everything Teddy and I had been through.
"So you were in love once?" He asked curiously.
I nodded, but the truth was I would always be in love with Teddy. "Yeah.. yeah, I was."
"What happened?" He asked almost instantaneously. "If you don't mind me asking."
"We never actually were, like, an official couple or anything. But he told me I was his best friend, and then everyone started telling me that they could tell he was falling for me and everything. So we made a few dumb decisions." I told him about the hook up I had caused between him and Ashley, then about Ty and I and. "So then on Christmas break we got over our little argument and then this ex of his pops up out of nowhere and I'm mad at him again because I was in love with him and I knew he felt the same." I finished telling my story, right down to the night after graduation.
"Wow. It's like a movie." He said. "So you don't even want to see him anymore?"
I shrugged. "I miss him. But he sent me a letter the other day because my best friend, Jaimie, gave in and gave him my address. He's going to be in town a couple weeks from now, though and we're going to hang out. Catch up and stuff, ya know?"
He nodded. "It's good that you're meeting him again so that he doesn't blame himself... "
"So you blame yourself for something Mr. Matthews?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah." He answered. "I was dating this girl... that I thought I was in love with. She was one of those girls you hardly ever meet anymore. You know... conservative, shy but outgoing at the same time... Kind of like you."
I smiled.
"Anyway. One day she committed suicide. No one knew why. I thought everything in our relationship was going great. I spent all my free time with her. I told her how much I loved her. I couldn't figure it out."
"That's awful." I said.
He nodded. "Yeah. About a year before she... " He trailed off, not wanting to say it. "I started noticing that she was losing a ton of weight and I noticed cuts on her arms and stuff. I couldn't figure it out."
"I'm sorry."
He looked as if he was going to cry. "I felt like I saw all the warning signs and never did anything about it. I asked her about it, but she just blew it off like it was nothing. I told her parents but she blew up on them. I felt like I could have done something to stop it." He paused. "I was the one who found her. I went to her dorm to wake her up and the door was unlocked from her roomate just leaving to go to class. I went in and she was just laying there. Like she had died in her sleep."
"I'm so sorry."
"The autopsy said she had overdosed on something and that there were also traces of cocaine in her system." He told me and I reached out and touched his hand where it was resting on the table.
"I wish I could say something other than I'm sorry." I told him. "Or it's not your fault. But both of those things are true. You told her parents, you asked her about it. She ignored it... you had nothing to do with it."
"It was so selfish of her." He said. "I hated her for it. I stopped eating for like a month until my friend Jay took me to the hospital after I blacked out one day and while I was there they made me do counseling."
I nodded. I had never actually told anyone other than my friends about my feelings for Teddy. I had never sat down with someone and had them tell me about their past relationship.
"You want to head back now?" I suggested and he nodded.
He took my hand as I led him out of the restaraunt that was nearing closing time and to our apartment building. He rode the elevator to my floor with me, even though his was one below mine. He was a really nice guy and he reminded me of Teddy.
"I guess I'll see you Monday when I check my mail again?" I laughed and he smiled.
"Yeah. We should do this again some time." He said. "I really had a great time with you."
I nodded. "Me too." What was with me? I had sworn off the dating thing, but now I was back in it. I did like him, but I think the only reason was because he reminded me of Ted.
He leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the mouth that was so sweet and innocent in a way. I smiled at him. "Do you want to come in and watch some tv? I hear that The Real World is super interesting this season." I offered and he nodded.
The only tv was in my bedroom, so we had to sit in there and watch it, which wasn't suggestive or anything like that. It was just two friends, sitting on a bed watching The Real World.
- - - - - - - - - -
The next morning I woke up under the white comforter and back and white floral print sheets next to a fully clothed Chad, minus a shirt. When had I climbed under the covers and changed clothes.
I rolled onto my side, facing him and watched him as he began waking up.
"Morning sunshine," I said to him as he rubbed his face in the pillows like Teddy always did. "Do you, by any chance, know when I changed clothes?"
"After the show ended." He said. "You went and changed and then got under the covers and we continued watching whatever came on next."
"Oh." I smiled as he gave me a kiss.
"Why? Were you making sure we didn't..." I nodded. "What if we had?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I would be glad that you didn't leave right after."
He laughed. It was a loud, infectious laugh that made me smile. "I would never do that." With each word he said he was taking me over. I couldn't help it. He was such a nice guy.
But then I thought about Teddy, sweet Teddy. I missed him, and I would always love him, but I didn't want to be with him. He was a musician, traveling across the country for months at a time that I would hardly ever get to see. Chad, though, I could see all the time.
"So I have a paper to do," I told him.
He threw his hands up. "Ok.. ok. I'll leave you alone... for now."
I smiled. "It's not like that."
"I know. My little doctor." He laughed as I walked him to the door. "I'll see you later." He gave me another kiss and then left.
- - - - - - - - - -
A few hours later, when I decided I needed to give my legs some exercise, I got up to just walk down the hall a bit and then some back to finish my work.
I began to step out before noticing a bouquet of yellow daisies, my favorite flower - yes tomboys do have favorite flowers, but then again, I had left that label behind when I finished my freshman year of college.
I picked them up before reading the card that was from Chad.
Thanks for the great time. I love talking to you.
Love - Chad
Love - Chad
I smiled to myself as I found a square glass vase to put them in and sat the on the coffee table in my living room. It made such a pretty picture that I had to have a copy of it myself.
I picked up my phone and dialed Jaimie's number. "Hello?" She asked after answering the phone on the first ring. The kids must've been asleep.
"Hey, it's me."
"Oh hey!" She said. "What's up?"
"Well. I went on a date." I told her.
She didn't respond for a minute and I assumed she was somewhat shocked. "Oh. What's his name?"
"Chad." I told her before describing our night together, and telling her about the flowers.
"Wow. Your favorite."
"I know." I told her. "I like him."
"Good for you." She said. "I'm glad you're happy for once. I just hope that you tell Teddy when you see him."
"Yeah. I'm trying not to think about that right now." I told her as I heard a baby start crying. We said our goodbyes and I sat the phone back on it's receiver.
I looked at the flowers before returning to my paper. It wasn't just going to write itself, you know...