Post by smile♥ on Jul 15, 2008 23:37:27 GMT -5
"I want something else, to get me through this, Semi-charmed kinda life baby, baby, I want something else, I'm not listening when you say, good-bye..." -- Third Eye Blind 'Semi-Charmed Kind of Life'
15
15
She hadn't exactly had the best couple of days, and even knowing that her birthday was only a few short hours away couldn't brighten her mood. Everything had just been bad at home, and then it seemed like all her friends were too busy with their work schedules to listen to her - which she didn't blame them for - and things were even worse it seemed at her job. She felt like she was on the edge of either collapsing and sleeping for days or screaming until her throat bled. But neither of them seemed very appealing to her.
Am I depressed? Omigosh, I'm emo... She shook her head as she eyed herself in the mirror. She hadn't washed her hair since Monday night, and it was now Wednesday. She had been wearing the baggiest pair of sweat pants she owned, as well as an extra large t-shirt that used to belong to her dad. She even had dark circles under her eyes as a result of her current state of insomnia.
She sighed as she grabbed clean clothes and headed towards the bathroom to take a shower. She made sure not to undress in front of the mirror so she wouldn't have to look at the unsightly bruises on her back. It was eleven at night, but she didn't care who she woke up. She was tired of caring about anyone in her family but herself.
The hot shower seemed to burn all her depressed feelings out, which felt good. She wiped the steam off the mirror as she brushed out her long blond hair and began brushing her teeth. She had never realized how green her eyes were until now. With her hair brushed back out of her face and the contrast of the ridiculous dark circles, they stood out as if they were illuminated, and it kind of scared her. She almost couldn't look at them.
She pulled her dad's old blue flannel shirt over herself and turned out the light behind her as she stepped out into the dark hallway. After last night, she should have been afraid of walking alone in the dark, but tonight was different. She knew nothing would happen to her.
She reached her room and noticed Marshall's light was still on, but Marshall wasn't the one sitting in the window, Ty was. He had a guitar over his lap. When did he learn to play guitar?
She half-chuckled to herself as she thought to herself. I guess my life isn't the only one thats changing. I'm not the only one with issues, I'm sure... I guess I should pay just a little more attention to my friends' problems and a little less on my own...
She gave him a little wave when he looked up and noticed her standing there. Oh great, now he's going to think I have the same feelings for him... He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and waved it in the air, telling her he was about to call her. When her phone vibrated, she hit the send button and waved as she sat on her bed, out of his line of sight.
"Can't sleep?" He asked. His voice was different, but somehow reassuring to her.
"Nope." She said softly, with a tired edge.
"Me either. I had to come over here 'cause the parents were fighting again." When did his parents started acting like that? I really need to pay more attention...
"I'm sorry." She said in the same soft tone.
"Hey, you want to go get a burrito or something? My parents started arguing right before my mom started to make dinner, so I'm starving." He managed to suggest and change the subject all in one breath and she realized she had forgotten how good he was at that.
What harm could it do to just get a burrito with a friend?
- - - -
"So how's Teddy doing in Atlanta?" He asked curiously and she shrugged as she stuffed her face with a burrito while they sat on a concrete picnic table watching traffic drive by.
"What do you mean you don't know. You're closer to him than any of us are," he laughed and nudged her. "You discovered him, remember?"
"Yeah, but he didn't call me or anything until he was there, so I really have no idea what that kid is thinking anymore," she laughed as she took another huge bite and a sip of her soda, before continuing. "So what was the fight about?" She asked curiously, trying to hide her disappointment with the fact that Teddy would not be there for her birthday.
"Huh? Oh the parents... What we were having for dinner. Its lame, I know. My dad said he was going to grill steaks, but my mom wanted chicken, so then she was going to let him grill the steaks, but he went and got the chicken and it just blew up from there and now they're shouting the "d-word"," he made little quotations in the air with his fingers and she laughed at the cuteness.
"And they don't actually shout it, they whisper it, like its the worst possible word you could say around a twenty-one year old and... And two sixteen year olds. Please, we heard worse in high school." he rolled his eyes.
"Well at least your parents stay around to fight with each other," she laughed. "My dad just up and left one day."
"Oh yeah, sorry," he felt a little guilty for complaining, but he knew she didn't take it personal. "So how about that birthday tomorrow?" There he goes with those expert subject changing skills...
"Yeah, I'm not looking forward to it," she said as she shook her head. And she really wasn't.
"Oh come on, seriously?" She nodded as she began to eat another burrito. "You're going to be twenty-one. Thats, like, the biggest party anyone can have. Remember mine?"
She gave him a look and laughed as she shook her head. "No offense, but I don't think anyone remembers your twenty-first birthday."
He laughed and hung his head. It was true, it was the day that she got drunk in the baseball fields, and had Hailey drunk more than one drink, they would have all woken up in that very field the next day.
"Hailey remembers," he laughed. "Poor Hailey." They both snickered as they threw their trash away and continued to sit on the bench.
A comfortable silence fell over them as they watched the dwindling traffic pass on the highway in front of them under the glow of those orange lights that lined the streets. She kept thinking about how she never realized how adorable he is. They had actually been pretty close in high school, but since then, they hardly had a chance to talk, and he had really grown into himself since then. He was taller, calmer, and almost seemed more sensitive. And she kind of liked it, despite the fact that she also liked Teddy.
"Wow, its after one in the morning," he laughed. "Happy Birthday."
She smiled for the first time since Monday it felt like, and she felt her cheeks getting warm as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder. But when he rubbed her back, she couldn't hide the fact that it hurt.
"Whats wrong?" He asked and she shook her head, but he was already lifting up her old high school t-shirt to reveal the bruises. "How did you get these?"
She shook her head, trying to end the subject, because she really didn't feel like reliving her past forty-eight hours. It was bad enough that her sisters hated her, but did they really have to jump her in the middle of the hallway for no reason? Aren't they supposed to act like the thirty-year-olds that they are?
She wiped the tears off her face, not realizing she was crying until the tears hit her legs. "You ready to go?" She asked as she stood up quickly, her main goal being to get home so she could pretend like he had never seen them.
He stood up, but instead of heading towards the car, he pulled her into a hug. It was unexpected, but she found herself letting out all her anger in the form of tears, and he let her cry all over his old high school shirt. Before she knew it, he had helped her into his Jeep Wrangler, and the wind was drying the left over tears on her cheeks as they drove toward her house.
On the way home, she remembered something he had said back when they were in high school, right before graduation. She turned to him and quoted what he had said.
"Do you ever want something else?" She asked and he gave her a questioning look, not realizing what she was doing. " 'To get you through this semi-charmed kind of life', as the song goes."
He gave her a small smile. "That songs was about drugs, and I didn't even know it until, like, yesterday."
"Yeah, but I knew what you meant, and now it just relates so much to me... And you even."
He nodded and gave her a knowing glance before resting his hand on her knee for the remainder of the ride back to her place.
- - - -
She was dressed in a black button-up, short sleeve shirt that had a lace overlay and dark jeans. She knew for a fact Hailey had planted the shirt in her closet the day before so she would wear it at the party, so she laughed as she put it on, along with her wedge shoes that she never wore - they were for special occasions - and made her way to the living room, where her mother was waiting for her so they could head to The Shop for her family party.
Her mom was insistent on throwing her a party before she went out and "got hammered" with her friends, as she put it. Although, she wasn't exactly planning on drinking more than one drink.
She was glad that her sisters weren't coming. She couldn't stand to be in the same house as them, let alone look them in the face and listen to their fake birthday wishes. It was actually a decent birthday party. She got more money than she knew what to do with from everyone, and she couldn't wait to use it for a new guitar.
She attempted to help her mom clean up the trash and box up the left over cake after everyone had left, but she only shooed her away, telling her to go get wasted with her friends, "You're only young once, now go!" She laughed as she gave Tessa a hug and kiss on the cheek before watching her exit the building with her friends.
- - - -
"Here, try this one now," Hailey and Lauren had been giving her sips of many different types of mixed drinks, and she couldn't remember the names of any.
"Seriously, I think I'm going to sit this one out," she laughed.
"Come on its your birthday. Drink," Lauren said in a goofy voice, everyone could tell she was already drunk.
"So hows Teddy?" Hailey asked curiously.
"I don't know. I haven't talked to him since he got to Atlanta," she informed her friend.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Well, he said he was going to be here for the party," Hailey said. "I just figured he would have called you and told you he couldn't make it since he didn't show up."
She shook her head. "Nope. Nothing, and I'm kind of mad at him for it too. Not even a text saying 'happy b-day'."
"Hey Tessa," Ty smiled as he sat on the stool next to her.
"Hey Ty," she mirrored the smile he was giving her, hoping he couldn't see her red cheeks. When did I develop a crush on him?
"So do you want to-" He began to ask her something, but was cut off by Hailey.
"Look, there's Teddy!" She was acting like an idiot as she flagged him down, and continued to do so until he reached the bar.
"I'm sorry she looks like an idiot. She's had way too much to drink. Its my birthday and I don't even want a drink... How weird is that?" She laughed at herself. "So how was Atlanta?"
He smiled at her. "It was good... In the beginning, then the middle kind of sucked, but then it was OK again. Now I'm back."
"Well thats good." She nodded her head and she found herself taking a sip of whatever Hailey had managed to put in her hand.
"Yeah, happy birthday by the way," he gave her a one-armed hug.
"Thanks," she smiled as she continued to sip on her drink.
"Whoa, who is she?" Ty asked as a brunette attempted to make her way through the bar-slash-club.
She noticed Teddy roll his eyes. "Thats Calli. Calli, over here!" He waved his arm in the air. Calli? Please say she's your cousin, please say she's your cousin, please...
"This is Calli, we started dating about a year ago, and I ran into her in Atlanta, and now we're here." He explained. D*mnit, Ted. She's supposed to be your cousin...
She spun around on her stool to face the bartender. "Bartender! Can I have another one of whatever this was?" He quickly made her another one and she immediately began to sip it down through the straw.
"Whoa, what happened to not drinking that much tonight?" Teddy laughed.
"I guess I've just finally caught that twenty-first birthday spirit," she said sarcastically as she stood and grabbed Ty's hand. "Let's dance. In fact, I'm the birthday girl, and I say everyone on the dance floor, now!"
"Maybe you shouldn't drink anything else?" Teddy suggested and tried to take the drink from her, but she moved her hand out of his reach and giggled.
"Dance floor, now!" She kept giggling as she made her way to the floor, where tons of people were already "shaking their groove thangs".
Little did she know, she would be paying for all this in the morning....
