"Cause everybody tries to put some love on the line, And everybody feels a broken heart sometimes..." -- Teddy Geiger 'These Walls'
2
Her parents had been heartbroken over the loss of Kacie for so long, that she wasn't sure if they would even believe their daughter was actually still alive. Alive and well. And back where she belonged.
The minute they pulled into the driveway, she could see it on her mother's face. Disbelief. Shock. Happiness. They were all there. She heard Marshall taking a picture from the back seat of his Jeep, and she watched her younger sister get out and run to their mom to one of those hugs that looks more like a tackle, but somehow no one ends up getting hurt. She smiled to herself as she continued to sit behind the steering wheel and watch.
Hailey, Brady, little Sammy, Cooper, Lauren, Ty, and Megan all came across the yard from where they had been waiting on Marshall's front porch. It was like they were sitting on the sidelines, watching a football game go on, because they kept their distance, but you could see the joy on their faces. Marshall got that on picture too.
Finally, she got out.
"Anne? What's going on?" Her dad called to her mom as he sauntered down the steps to the sidewalk that led to the driveway. Mother and daughter pulled apart and their bloodshot eyes and smiling faces faced him. He wasn't a crier, but Tessa could have sworn she saw something shiny slide down his cheek.
He took a deep breath as his youngest ran to him as well and they hugged each other with everything they had. It was beautiful.
Soon, Ellie and Janie were joining them, and the looks on their faces were even more shocked than the looks their parents had given.
There was a group hug. And pictures. And more hugging. And more pictures, but no one cared, because they wanted to never let go of each other, and they wanted to be able to go back and look at this again... So they could remember it forever.
They stood there like that until the sun went down, and then they took their party inside, where they ordered pizza and sat around, telling Kacie about everything they had missed out on.
Tessa smiled for what seemed like the millionth time as she watched Kacie take a seat in the floor like she always had; Even when there were plenty of open spaces on the couch, she had always preferred sitting - or lying - in the floor instead. Stella, who was only a year old when Kacie was kidnapped, walked over to her and laid next to her, with her head in her lap, just like she always used to. She lifted her camera and took the picture.
Everything was perfect again. She excused herself to the bathroom, where she realized she was exhausted. She splashed some water on her face and washed her hands, then shut off the light as she exited the room. Her two older sisters were on the other side, waiting for her, and it almost made her stomach twist into a knot and her palms sweat. But she knew things were different now.
"Hey, we just wanted to tell you that we're sorry." Janie spoke first.
"We know things weren't your fault, but we were angry and stupid and selfish and it was just... kind of easy to take our anger out on you. Because you were the only person home that night and everything..." Ellie finished. "But we're sorry. So sorry."
Tessa waved her hand in the air. "Don't worry about it, ok? I knew that you guys didn't mean any of it."
Looks of relief washed over their faces as they moved forward and hugged their sister, and then followed her down the stairs to join their family, who were waiting to take their first family photo as a reunited family.
- - - -
Even the slightest thing seemed to remind her of him. Especially when she was alone in her bedroom, where the two of them spent a lot of time. The glow of the vanilla scented candle on her shelf/headboard didn't help either. It reminded her of the way he smelled. Like vanilla and clean, freshly showered boy. And it sure didn't help that he wouldn't stop sending her text messages.
'i'm getting married.' she wondered if he was repeating it to make her jealous or because he couldn't believe it.
'yes, i know. did you get my gift?' she had sent the couple a wedding gift since she "wouldn't be around" for the wedding.
'yeah. jess didn't think it was possible for someone to send so many towels.' she rolled her eyes at him, even though he couldn't see it.
'well, i'm sure they'll get a lot of use, eh?' she let out a little chuckled as she rolled onto her stomach on her bed. She sent him another message,
did i ever tell you that you smell like vanilla?'lol. what?! does that mean i'm girly?'no... its not vanilla in a girly way. vanilla in a clean boy way.'tessa, i don't know if you know this or not.. but you're weird. and i have to go, i'll talk to you laterShe flipped her phone shut, and after sitting in her room, basking in the memories of Teddy and herself for just a little bit too long, she had to get out and do something. So she went to her sister's room.
She pushed open the door to her sister's bedroom and found her laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her mind was on emotional overload.
"Hey," Tessa whispered, keeping quiet so she wouldn't wake her parents. Kacie sat up and wiped a few tears away from her eyes. She knew the tears were happy tears.
"Hey," she smiled then patted the spot on the bed in front of her. "What's up?"
Tessa smiled and shook her head. "I don't know... I just thought I would come see how you're doing."
Kacie chuckled a little, "I'm good. I have to get used to it, ya know... But its like I never left."
They both sat there for a minute, just watching each other and smiling. Finally, Tessa spoke. "I just... I feel like I need to apologize."
"For what happened?" Kacie asked and Tessa nodded, but Kacie blew it off. "No, you don't. He had his eyes on me from the minute he saw me. He was going to take me no matter who stood in the way. The way I see it is, if you had been there, you might have wound up worse than I did."
She couldn't believe it. For the past twelve years, she had beaten herself up over everything... And then, the one person who should hate her and blame her is the one person who doesn't.
"Hey, you want to go with me to get the pictures developed?" Kacie giggled and threw a small pillow at Tessa before getting up and putting on a pair of flip flops.
While they waited for their pictures, they sipped milkshakes on the same concrete picnic bench Tessa and Ty had shared late one night a few years ago. They shared everything that had happened in their lives since their separation. By then end of the night, Kacie knew every corner of Tessa's crazy, complicated love life, and Tessa knew every thought of escape Kacie had had in twelve years.
It was the perfect reunion.
- - - -
The sun filtered through the stained glass windows, giving the beige carpet a temporary stain. She sat on the second pew in the church that Jessica had attended her whole life. Hailey was on her right, with Sammy in her lap, and Kacie on her left, with Lauren on the other side of Hailey, making silly faces at Sam.
She couldn't help but feel nervous, and it was obviously showing, because Hailey had to remind her several times to stop popping her knuckles and to stop bouncing her leg.
"If you don't quit that, I swear, I will chop your leg off," Kacie gave her a wild look, but couldn't help but laugh at her older sister.
They had arrived early, because the guys were part of the wedding party, and had gotten just the right seats, on the side of the groom's family and friends. Soft music began to play as the piano player took her spot, followed by the preacher, and then Teddy and his groom's men.
He must have been nervous, because he watched his feet as he walked to his place, and he didn't notice her until everyone stood to watch Jessica walk down the aisle.
Why is she here? I thought... I can't believe she showed up. Teddy thought just as the music began to play and the doors at the back of the church opened up to let his soon-to-be wife through.
He hoped his mouth wasn't hanging open too much, and he hoped that it wasn't obvious that he kept looking at Tessa from the corner of his eye as he watched Jessica walk with her father. He had a few choice words to share with Tessa later...
He was furious.
It made Tessa just a little bit too happy to see him notice her, and then to see his reaction. His blue eyes wandered from Jessica, to Tessa, and back to Jessica again nervously. She was enjoying this too much.
She wasn't sure what she had expected him to do when he saw her sitting there, but she was sure it wasn't what she was seeing. Sure, she knew he would be surprised... But maybe a part of her wanted him to ditch the wedding and come running to her so that they could be together. So they could have an actual chance, because they had never really got one.
"I do." She hadn't been paying attention at all, but when she heard him say those words, it was like they were giant church bells in a huge cathedral, and they just kept ringing out, over and over, until finally Hailey broke her out of her trance so that they could all go to the reception.
- - - -
It was almost seven o'clock and the reception was still in full swing. Tessa wasn't sure how many glasses of wine she'd had either, but she knew it was a lot. She had watched the father - daughter dance, and then the bride and groom's first dance, and now everyone was just dancing with whoever to whatever was playing. It was actually rather funny, because she was drunk... No hammered... and everyone looked a little fuzzy, and every now and then, if she moved her eyes real fast, the room would sort of spin.
She giggled to herself as she watched Teddy walk over to her and whisper in her ear.
"You want to dance?" Normally she would have protested, because she was sure he had told Jessica about her and the relationship the two of them used to have, and a dance such as this was sure to cause all kinds of jealousy to come out. But she said ok, and lazily linked arms with him as she stumbled over her wedge shoes.
She kicked off her shoes, then the two of them started their slow dance.
"I thought you weren't coming," he finally stated.
"You know me... I'm always one for surprises." She was sure she didn't make sense, but she didn't care.
"Are you drunk?" He almost laughed when he smelled her breath. "I swear I think I just got a buzz off of your breath."
"Yeah, right. That's like, physically impossible." She slurred and he rolled his eyes.
"Tessa, seriously. I'm glad you came, but you can't stay like this. I wanted to talk to you, but you're... I can't talk to you when you're intoxicated because you won't remember it." He was doing everything he could not to laugh at her as she giggled about nothing. "Come on, Tessa, someone's taking you home right now."
"I don't want to go," she whined, but finished the sentence off with a little giggle as he grabbed her hands and pulled her up. She almost fell forward on her face, but he caught her and at the moment, she was very sober.
They looked into each others' eyes for just a little too long, but no one noticed. She saw his eyes soften just a bit, as if he was going to move in for a kiss, but he caught himself and pushed her back on her feet before dragging her back to Marshall.
"You have to go. Now." He said as he led her back to the table, where Marshall was sitting alone. "Take her home."
"What?"
"She's drunk off her a** at my wedding. Take. Her. Home." His words were fast and a little suspicious, but Marshall didn't seem to notice.
Marshall laughed as he watched her giggle and fumble with her shoes, which should have been easy since they were slip-ons. "Ok. I'm sorry about that."
"Yeah. Tell her I'll talk to her in the morning."
"In the morning?" Marshall asked curiously. "Don't you have a honeymoon?"
Teddy shook his head. "We're not leaving until tomorrow night."
"Sounds good to me," Marshall laughed as he lifted Tessa over his shoulder, being careful not to let her black dress fly up too far. "See ya later Ted."
- - - -
Her head was pounding, but he was furious, and he didn't care that her head hurt. He wanted answers. He wanted to know why she had to do things the way she did them.
"Why did you lie about coming to the wedding?" His voice was softer, but still too loud.
"I don't know," she said, because she didn't want him to know the truth. She had hoped that upon seeing her sitting there, he wouldn't say 'I do', and he would come running back to her. She let a few tears escape before wiping them away with the sleeve of that big maroon hoodie.
"Yes you do," he scoffed as he sat there with his arms crossed. He looked like a cartoon character when they get mad and their face turns red.
"At first I thought it was a joke. But then I realized it wasn't and I was so mad at you, I wanted to hurt you so bad. And I was moving back here before I ever knew about your wedding, because I realized I was an idiot and that I love you and want to be with you. And I thought maybe if you saw me at the wedding... I don't know." She shook her head and didn't finish her thoughts. "I don't know why I didn't tell you... It was stupid. I don't know why I do half the things I do anymore."
He shook his head in disbelief and looked away. "You've never really opened up to me like that before."
"Is it so hard to believe that I've grown up... That I've changed and realized how stupid my mistakes are? That... That I'm actually not afraid to admit that I love someone? Because guess what... "
"You want to know something?" he was being sarcastic now. "You and I never got a chance because you put up all these walls. You would show me a little bit of yourself... But you always made it seem like what we had was nothing but a friendship with benefits. And for a while, I could go with that. But I didn't just want you like that. I wanted everything about you. I wanted you. Forever. But you wouldn't let that happen because as soon as you found someone you loved, who loved you back, you found someone else who you thought you could have a relationship with to take your mind off of what you really felt."
She shook her head. "You don't know anything about me."
"I know that you're a scared, confused girl. You think you're the only person who's ever been scared to love someone? Please..." He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm going. See ya.... Whenever."
"Ted," she started to cry, but he didn't even flinch when she said his name. He just kept walking. And walking. And walking. And all she could do was cry into the covers on her bed until she couldn't anymore and all that was left was the pain and the knowledge that everything was her fault. She was never going to have anything with Teddy.
