Chapter Seven: Sort of Talk
After agreeing Teddy to meet him at the Barnes & Noble, I went into the Starbucks located inside of it after finding a book. It’s going to take him a while to finish recording. Then I got us both extremely hot coffee and scones… and biscotti. What can I say, that stuff is totally addicting. Same with coffee. Coffee is delicious.
I curled up into a comfortable little ball and started reading. Knowing me, I’d probably finish this book in an hour if he didn’t show up within that time frame, and I knew he wouldn’t. I was just hoping that my iPod had enough juice to last the rest of the day; I forgot to charge it last night.
*~*
I felt someone pulling my headphones off from my ears, and in a not so kind manner. What right do they have pulling me out of an alternate universe?
I was scowling as I looked up, the book was just starting to get really interesting, and they just killed it. Wait, why am I in Barnes & Noble while I’m reading? Oh, yeah, I’m supposed to meet Teddy here, aren’t I? Oh, that was Teddy that pulled off my headphones… I feel like the biggest idiot in the entire world now…
“Wow, I saw you with a pretty big green bag from here yesterday. Is that a new book, or is it one of the many that you bought yesterday?” HA. HA. Teddy is such an jerk, even when he is teasing.
I shifted in the couch uncomfortably. He was making me nervous, that never ever happens with us, we were never like that before… Well, before I left. I pulled my knees up to my chest and started playing with my cartilage piercing, it was this huge nervous habit I had, I also did it when I was bored, but that’s beside the point.
“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Its official, Teddy knows me too well for my own good, d**n. “You always play with your cartilage when you’re nervous, and you keep biting your lip.” He was smirking; I hate it when he’s right. I’m supposed to always be right, and he’s supposed to be nervous. How the hell did we flip?
“For your information… I… Well, I got a new cartilage piercing, and I need to make sure that the earring is rotated so it doesn’t get stuck, alright? And yes, this is a new book. Why does it matter? I already like… own half of the books that are here.” I sound like a major b****, but I’m kind of fed up with Teddy. Why? I have no clue, I just am. His cuteness annoys me.
“What’s wrong? Seriously, you’ve been so… I don’t even know. You’re like irritated with me one minute, and then you’re all sorry and cute. You’re driving me crazy.” He started eating a scone, his face expressionless, but if you looked at his eyes-which isn’t very smart, you could get lost-you could see them shining. He was trying to make me mad.
“Okay, stop trying to get me pissed. It’s already worked. Alright?” I took off my hat, just realizing that I was still wearing it, and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Why was I so nervous all of a sudden, why was Teddy making me feel like my brain just melted?
“You wanted to talk. Here we are. Oh, wait; I have a question for you.” I winced; I knew what was coming next. “Why did you leave?” Wow, Teddy’s gotten predictable.
-Flashback-
Teddy and I were lying down in the park. It might have been midnight, and it also may have been freezing, but none of that mattered. All I knew is that I was leaving. And it was going to happen tonight; sure, I didn’t want to leave Teddy, and after all, I did make a promise. Shouldn’t I follow it at least?
I'll run far away
I need to take a holiday
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I got to find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase
I got to see a new face
I need to take a holiday
A new start
I've broken too many hearts
And I don't have any clue where to go
I don't know
But maybe I'll be back someday after my holiday
All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight
I started crying again, for probably the millionth time that night. Teddy looked over at me again, with a troubled look on his face. He sat up and got me comfortable on his lap. The only thing he doesn’t know is that he’s making things so incredibly hard. I just want to leave, but then again, I want to stay like this forever. Well, the with Teddy part, not with my family. I was just wishing that my family had never even existed. They’d made my life a living hell all through high school, and that’s all the information that Teddy knows. I also know he wants to know why I’m crying. If only he knew…
“Do you ever wish that you could stay in one moment forever, no matter how… sad it may seem?” My voice was just barely over a whisper, but I knew he could hear me; my head was on his shoulder.
He tore his gaze away from the stars and rubbed my arms gently, looking into my eyes. I couldn’t read his expression, but I could tell he was upset. He always looked upset when I was crying; I especially knew that he was frustrated. He didn’t know why I was crying, and I wouldn’t tell him. He was pretty mad about that part. We’ve known each other for so long, why should we have secrets?
“Yeah, but not the sad moments. I know you’re talking about right now. Why would you want to remember this moment, Crystal? Why would you want to remember lying down in the park, crying? That’s not exactly… You know what? Just forget it. I’m too frustrated to deal with this.” I snuggled up to him closer, and felt his arms tighten around me. It almost seemed like he knew I would be gone, but then again, it didn’t. I gave him a kiss on the cheek as we both sat there very still. We were both wondering the same thing: what’s going to happen next?
-End of Flashback-
“Uh… Well…” I’m not going to tell him. I just can’t tell him. “I’m not going to be able to tell you that. No one’s going to know why I left. I just… Well, I know you don’t understand, but I just can’t tell you. I couldn’t, it would just… it would change everything.” My hands were laying on the small table in front of us, messing with the sleeves on my hoodie. I was avoiding his eyes; I wasn’t going to look him in the face.
That wasn’t on his plans. At all. He reached across the table and held picked up one of my hands, his other hand flew up to under my chin, where he pulled my face up to look at him. I was going to cry, I just knew it.
“I’m not going to buy that Crystal, why’d you really leave?” I pulled my hands away gently and shook my head, the tears already coming. I’m not telling him. I’m not telling him anything. Nothing at all.
I stood up abruptly and grabbed all of my stuff. I jammed my hat back on and picked up my books and my purse. I looked over at Teddy for a moment, his blue eyes swimming with questions, yet also understanding that I was upset. I walked out of Barnes & Noble and began the walk that seemed extremely long to get back to my apartment, with a pit stop to the studio to talk with Billy.
I was hoping Teddy wouldn’t follow me.
And he didn’t.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts? Opinions?
My foot fell asleep. And it tickles. Just thought I'd share that.